My hair is just like Mommy's

I never thought I would get words of wisdom, or universal truths, from Battle Star Galactica, but I did. At one point, Adama is talking to his son Lee and he says and I quote loosely, "when you have children, you see yourself reflected in their eyes." It struck me as true when I heard it, and as I thought about it more I realized that I believe it. When I see my daughter look at me in her eyes I see love, trust, and her absolute belief in my perfection looking back at me. I'm her mom. I am her first role model, and her first model of feminine beauty. In her mind, when she thinks of what a woman should be like, her first thought will be of her mother.
And then it struck me. We are not losing our girls to image disorders through unreal images in magazines, or to super skinny tv and movie actresses. We lose our girls even before that. What is a girl supposed to think when she sees her mommy, the most perfect being in the world and mommy has nothing but negative things to say about herself? How is she supposed to feel when the hair that "looks just like Mommy's" is constantly being changed and treated to "make it more beautiful" on Mommy's head? Or when people tell her she has her mommy's eyes, nose, legs, hips, or whatever, and mommy spends all day talking about how much she hates her eyes, nose, legs, hips, or whatever. And she is watching us. I cringe now thinking back on all those mom's groups where spent the whole two hours talking about dieting, or tummy fat. I don't want her to think that her thighs, or butt or whatever are less than ideal.
We can talk about the media and the unrealistic expectations that these images place on our daughters, but she's watching. How is she supposed to believe what we are saying if we are essentially saying to her, "You are beautiful just the way you are, but Mommy just needs to lose 15 lbs"?

Hao Ke ai!

So Babes and I went to the zoo yesterday and had a blast! I won't gush anymore about how wonderful a place the Taipei zoo is, or how much I like to go there... I've done enough of that. Instead I'm going to talk about the exhibit/celebrity status Babes has where ever we go in Taipei. Taiwanese people LOVE little kids. Men, women, girls, boys they all like little kids. Which is great, it means that you can take your child many places that you might not think about taking them in the US. We take Babes with us all over the place, restaurants, museums, malls, on the bus, subway, taxis, everywhere! And for the most part no one ever looks at us strangely for bringing a kid, and usually there's at least one other kid there too. And Taiwanese kids stay up late so often there are kids out doing things when Babes is already tucked in bed and well on her way to dreamland.
The downside to this is that it sometimes feels as if Babes is something akin to a celebrity. Not only is she a little kid, but she's different. She's got curly hair, big eyes, and long lashes (yeah, I'll admit it, she is pretty cute). Taiwanese people LOVE her. I have much sympathy for celebrities these days. There are many times when I'm sitting having lunch with Babes, and after we turn down the fifth person for a photograph, I just want to scream "WE JUST WANT TO EAT OUR LUNCH IN PEACE! PLEASE!" But I don't, because they mean well, instead I ask Babes if she wants to take a picture with these people, and inevitably she says no, and then I apologize to the nice people and say "I'm sorry, she doesn't want to take a picture." Then they look disappointed and go away.
And for the most part people are truly good hearted about it. They say "hao Ke ai!" meaning how cute. They mention a feature, they giggle, sometimes they offer her something (candy, toys, pens, pencils), sometimes they ask to take a picture, and then they leave us in peace. Very seldom do people take liberties, and it's mostly teenage girls (or old ladies) who try to touch her hair, or give her hugs. I generally don't mind it, because these people are teaching Babes better than words not to talk to or trust strangers. It's a little sad that she's becoming shy, but in the long run it's better.
Sometimes it's a little annoying. Although I usually get a kick out of kids trying to get together enough English to ask us for a picture. I love the discussion that goes on, and then the sacrificial lamb with the most English comes forth to stammer out a question. I usually feel bad denying them, I can see how much courage it takes. But Babes is pretty adamant about not wanting a picture. She will smile, sometimes, and sometimes wave, and she might answer a question, but generally no pictures. After a day of this at the zoo, I think even Babes was fed up with the attention. As we left the zoo, I heard her repeating over, and over, "hao ke ai! Hao ke ai!"

Friday night

We've been trying to find things for our racially/culturally/religiously blended family to do together. I've been taking Babes to church on some Sundays, we celebrate some of the Jewish Holy days as well as the Christian ones, and since she has started to understand more we have Shabbat dinner on Friday nights. As a Protestant I find the whole thing a little odd. My brand of protestantism does not have quite so much ritual. In fact, thinking over things, I don't think there is anything of ritual at all as a Baptist.... no wait, there is communion... which could be a smaller version of the shabbat ritual I guess.
But anyway, on Friday nights we gather around the table. I lay out the freshly baked Challah on a plate with some salt, and a glass of wine in a special cup. When the sun goes down Babes and DH light a candle. Then we sit at the table while DH says a prayer over the wine and we all take a sip. After wards we have a ritual hand washing then return to the table where DH breaks the Challah and holds it in his hands and says a brief prayer over it. Then I say grace and we eat.
Anyway, here are some pictures of the fresh baked Challah.

7-11

One of the good things about living in Asia (specifically Taiwan) is 7-11. Now if you are from the US you are probably thinking, "what? 7-11?" Because you are thinking of US 7-11 a dirty, dingy, badly lit convenience store where you can buy overpriced milk, chips, and an assortment of low-grade fast food. 7-11 in Asia, is a bright, friendly, well-lit place where you can do almost everything.
Let's start with the food. Babes and I often pick up lunch at 7-11 (it's on the way home from her school). They have a pretty good selection of semi-fresh things, from weird sandwiches, hand rolls, and noodles to bagels and thousand year old eggs. They also have a small selection of frozen things like dumplings, and LOTS of dried noodle packages. Babes and I often pick up Fantuans (which are like triangle shaped hand rolls) and/or a package of instant noodles. The rest of the stuff is just like any other 7-11; chips, sodas, juice, bottled teas, alcohol and convenience items.
And then there are all the other services that 7-11 provides. I have paid my phone bill at 7-11, added money to my transit card. You can pay your water and electric at 7-11, your cable bill, your cell phone bill. I have seen people send packages from 7-11 and I have heard that they will make travel arrangements (but I can not confirm this from personal experience). You can also pay your parking tickets, no need for meters in Taiwan, they print you out a bill and you take it to 7-11 and pay. You can also buy concert tickets! Who needs pesky government agencies when you have 7-11? And with one on every corner (sometimes both corners!) most people can make all of their utilities payments on their way to work.
Yes Sir! 7-11 in Asia really is your one stop shop, open day and night!

Lame Duck

*SIGH* We have now reached that place in an assignment where there's not enough time left at post to start anything new, but not yet soon enough that we are actually leaving. I have actually put it off here longer than I usually do because I've been in denial that we are actually leaving. But I REALLY feel it today. I am antsy and bored, but I don't want to do anything. Add to it an antsy child who is *supposed* to be home sick from preschool and you have one irritated mommy.
The Foreign Service is very good for people who constantly like a change, because there are always new challenges, but this lame duck period is frustrating.
It's like the last semester of high school or college after you've been admitted to the next college or grad school. You don't feel like studying, you don't really want to leave, but you can't wait to get out. Similarly, I don't want to start packing because it's too soon, I don't want to start anything new because it's too late. I'm not looking forward to leaving, but I'm anticipating getting out.

**On another note, a friend of mine is going in for her final fertility treatments this month, if you are so inclined please pray for a successful visit, if praying is not your thing please send happy conception thoughts her way. She really is the sweetest person I know and would make a wonderful mother.

So I thought I was doing something

I have been so smug and proud of myself this year. I thought that I was making healthier choices because I generally walk or take the bus where I want to go. Most of the time I walk with Babes so we walk, and we walk, and we walk. When we go to the store it's a 45 min walk. Walking to the bus stop is 10 min. Walking to friend's houses from the bus stop 15 min or more. I thought I was getting TONS of work outs. But no. Since Babes has been going to school I've been walking by myself at regular speed. It turns out that the store 45 min with Babes - 10 min tops by myself. The bus stop is just a hop skip and a jump away, and it really is faster to just walk to the grocery store than to get on a bus.
I knew Babes had little legs and likes to walk slow, but I didn't know HOW much she was slowing me down. And let me just tell you, it's not usually a pleasant 45 min. to the store, it's a grueling drag on my patience and arm. Because after about 20 min the rest of the time is spent dragging a whining child who doesn't really want to walk anymore, so I get to the store/home/wherever wiped out and irritated.
However, this explains why I haven't really lost any weight. I'm not really exercising, just taxing my patience. Ah well, it's worth it not to have to drag a stroller around.

Black as Chocolate

I have been obsessed with this store (Black as Chocolate) since maybe my first week in Taipei. First of all, there is the name, Black as Chocolate, I just like saying it. Black as Chocolate, it's even fun to type. Then there is the fact that there is no chocolate visible anywhere in the store. It is one of those modern minimalist places with stark lighting and a counter. When you go in to order a cake, you don't get to look at the cakes, you choose one from a book and then they bring it to you.
But it wasn't until my birthday when DH bought me a Black as Chocolate cake that I TRULY became obsessed. These cakes are delicious. Such yummy chocolaty goodness. So we had one for my birthday, then we had one last weekend for dinner (yup that's right, I didn't cook, we all ate cake it was great!) I wonder if I can go get another one this weekend.....

Catching up

Oh! It's been awhile since I was here. Well in the time that I've been gone I finally got around to making the Oatmeal pancakes (with mixed results) and homemade yogurt (surprisingly easy).
Let's start with the Yogurt.

I found a recipe for homemade yogurt on Recipezaar (where else, that's where I get almost all of my recipes). Basically what you do is 1. Boil milk.

2. Let it cool to about 120 degrees (where you can just stick your finger in it, but why do this as whatever germs are on your finger will end up in the milk)
3. (you can pour it into another container at this point) Add about 1-2 tablespoons of yogurt (with live active cultures) or yogurt starter for each cup of milk that you boiled. 4. Stir well 5. Let sit in a warm place (keeping milk at about 110 -115 degrees) for 4-8 hours depending on how firm you want your yogurt. In order to keep it warm first I tried putting it in a crock-pot full of water on the warm setting, but it got to warm, so I had to keep turning it on and off.
This time I'm trying the wrap into towels method, where you wrap the jar full of yogurt in a bunch of towels to keep in the heat (after about four hours it seemed to be getting cold so I put it the whole thing in an oven that I warmed to 170 then turned off) we'll see how this works.
With any luck your yogurt will set up right and you'll have nice thick yogurt.
As for the Leftover Oatmeal pancakes....
Well, I didn't have a specific recipe and for all of my looking online the best I got was add a cup of leftover oatmeal to the pancake batter and increase the baking powder to make up for the heaviness of the batter. Not very specific is it? So I decided to start with half a cup of oatmeal and increased the baking soda by another tablespoon.

The batter was thicker than normal, and VERY lumpy (but I expected that I did use whole oat groats to make my oatmeal after all) but I couldn't use my trusty recycled ketchup bottle to squeeze my pancake batter into the pan.
(trusty leftover ketchup bottle, you know Williams Sonoma sells something similar for $10, but this way you can reduce and reuse).

The pancakes were not bad.
They were slightly chewier than normal, much puffier than normal, and I was slightly concerned about them being cooked all the way through but they tasted ok. I think I'm going to need to play around with it a little more, I think it would be awesome with buttermilk, but Taiwan is not the place for buttermilk.

Next up: Homemade Ice Cream

Mornings

One of the things that I used to like about living in New York was the rare occasions when I had to be up early in the morning. I used to love to walk through the neighborhood to catch the train as the neighborhood shops were setting up. I don't know why but I love the feeling of being out in the world and watching it wake up. I think maybe it's like being behind the scenes for a play or a movie. You get to see the stars without their makeup and watch as the set designers set up the stage. I didn't see this too often, because I HATE mornings. I don't like sunrises, and I think it's criminal to be up earlier than 7 in the morning.... That being said Taiwan is perfect for me since I can have that behind the scenes glimpse at 9 in the morning.
I have started taking Honeydog with me when we take Babes to school so that HD gets her walk in and I don't have to make several trips in and out of the apartment. When Babes goes to school all the shops and food stands are shut. But as I walk HD back to our place you can often see vendors sweeping their sidewalks, mopping their shop floors, and putting their places in order for the day. Most places don't open until 11 or 12 so there are only a few people up at this early hour (early for the Taiwanese). But it's good, because HD and I can get our walk in and be back at home before the streets fill up with shoppers and people on their way to work.

Leftover Oatmeal Carrot cake muffins

Hmm... In an effort to make something other than the usual leftover oatmeal muffins I tried to come up with something different. So I decided to make carrot cake muffins.

1 cup leftover oatmeal
2 eggs
1/4 Cup butter (I actually used 3 Tbsp butter, 1 olive oil)
1 Cup grated carrot
1/2 Cup finely chopped pineapple
1/2 Cup raisins
1 Tsp Vanilla
1 Cup flour
1/2 Cup brown sugar
1 Tsp baking soda
1 Tsp baking powder

I mixed the wet ingredients together and the dry ingredients together then mixed the two together and put them in mini muffin pans. These took forever to bake though maybe 30 minutes at 350, and they were still a little too moist (for my taste), and I don't think I cut the pineapple small enough. But DD and DH loved them so I will try them again grating/cutting everything smaller. No picture this time, but they look a lot like the other muffins....

Around Taiwan

(originally sent as an email)

Saturday morning I had breakfast overlooking a forest of palm trees in an open air dining room to the soft sound of rainfall as it rippled across the decorative ponds of our hotel. Yes, the rain did spoil the day of sight seeing we had planned for sun-moon lake, but the rain, and the accompanying fog, intensified the natural beauty of the area surrounding our hotel. The fog blanketed the valley below us, softening the landscape and obscuring all but faint shapes giving the whole scene a dreamlike quality, while the rain beaded on palm leaves and spiderwebs and sparkled brightly in the dim light.
Where was I, you might ask yourself, No we did not splurge and fly to some tropical paradise, we merely took a road trip down to the South of Taiwan (which I guess is a tropical paradise, but is it still paradise if you work there? Yeah I guess it is). We took a week of vacation and drove to Tainan, Kenting, and Sun-moon lake.
I was interested to see what Taiwan would have to offer once you left the gilded and polished city of Taipei, and it did not disappoint. What the smaller cities lack in polish and refinement they make up for with beautiful scenery and friendly people. Our main objective in this trip was to head to the beaches of Kenting, which is a 7 hour journey by car. To break up the trip (since we are traveling with a toddler) we stopped in Tainan which is in southwestern Taiwan. Having traveled in China and now some in Taiwan I have to say that it is interesting to visit Taiwanese cities because you get to see something of Chinese culture and history that you really don't see that often on the mainland. In Tainan we visited several small and large Buddhist and Confucius temples. In Taiwan these temples are still active and often well cared for. At any given time in a temple you will see, not only tourists, but worshipers as well, and, like churches in the U.S., they were centers of social as well as spiritual activity. (you see this in Taipei, but also like in the U.S. the further away from the modernized cities and the closer to the countryside the number of temples increases)
After a day in Tainan we drove to Kenting which is a very big surfing beach in Taiwan. Unfortunately, Zora's cold developed into a fever and the weather took a turn for the worse, so the first day or two in Kenting we spent in our hotel instead of on the beach. BUT this was not a loss as we stayed in a beautiful suite (apartment?) on a man-made lake a little ways inland. The Swan Lake Resort was a peaceful, if somewhat kitschy, hotel/resort. Our first day we got to spend on the first floor with a deck right on the lake where Zora could feed the swans right in front of our rooms. There were at least 8 swans, six black (did you know there were black swans?) and two white ones, and maybe one or two baby swans in their own special fenced in area. When the weather did finally lighten up (around the same time Zora's fever broke) we headed out to the beach to watch the waves crash upon the shore. The water, beautifully blue, was much too turbulent to wade in, so we spent the afternoon in the sun. It was actually kind of funny because as we were sitting in the shade in our swim gear talking about the heat (it was about 80) there was a man next to us in a woolen vest.
After Kenting, we headed back north and hit the sun moon lake on our way back to Taipei. Sun-moon lake is located in the only land locked county in Taiwan (every other county in Taiwan has a beach). It took us an hour to find our hotel driving around windy curvy hilly back mountain country roads in the semi dark and finally dark dark. Unfortunately Google maps directions get less useful right around the same time as the street lights disappear. But it was totally worth the search. The hotels rooms all look out over a forest of palms with private patios, and huge jacuzzi tubs with glass walls over looking the forest. The next day we took a rope line (cable car/sky bucket) over the mountains to a minority village/amusement park. It is an interesting thing, it is set up to teach Taiwanese kids about the indigenous people of Taiwan, there are tribal dances, and mock villages, but to sweeten the deal there is an amusement park rival to six flags. About half way through the day the weather turned and a heavy fog descended upon the area so that when we took the rope line back down to the lake we couldn't see anything ahead or behind us.
In the end, we wandered through one of the towns around sun-moon lake before stumbling upon a small hotel that would turn out to serve one of the best meals that I've had in Taiwan. The restaurant specializes in pairing meats with some of the fruits that Taiwan is famous for. As we sat enjoying the sumptuous meal with the open air patio I couldn't think of a better way to end our spring break!

Taipei Zoo

I think one of my favorite places in Taipei has to be the zoo. It's just beautiful! Especially if you hit it on a good day, if the weather is perfect it can feel as if you are a million miles from civilization roaming through a forest catching secret glimpses of wild animals. Even if the weather isn't perfect it's an awesome zoo.
The zoo's planners put a lot of thought into the layout of both the animal enclosures (I say enclosures because very few animals are in the traditional barred cages) and the paths the humans would take. Most animals have a pretty big pen with lots of grass and trees surrounding them. There is a continuity between the vegetation in the animal enclosures and the vegetation that lines the wide sidewalks and shades the sitting areas so that there doesn't seem to be much space between where the humans are and where the wild things are.
And the zoo is HUGE! I've been there 5 or 6 times (maybe more) and I STILL don't think I've seen all the animals (although now it's because we choose to hit certain places every time). You would have to be VERY dedicated and move fairly quickly to be able to see everything at the Taipei zoo in one day, if it is even possible. I know that it has to sprawl over several miles because some of the signs pointing you to various exhibits say things like Penguins 530meters, and that's after you've been walking through the zoo for some time.
We went on Monday for Babes' pre-birthday celebration and got a special treat as all of the animals were pretty frisky. We heard lions roar, wolves howl, saw penguins swimming, elephants splashing in the water, giraffe's walking and laying down, it was great!
Anyway, here are some pictures to give you an idea of the scope and prettiness of the zoo.

Homesick

Yesterday we went into Danshui to stroll about and have some lunch while the weather was somewhat nice. Danshui is a suburb/city of Taipei about thirty minutes north of us. It's got a cute little river walk and some random British colonial stuff (a fort, a boat dock, some missionary missions). It also has a Mexican restaurant. Now we've passed this place before a couple of times, it's just off the main drag so it's easy to spot from the road. I thought nothing of it, other than OOH Mexican food. But since we are in Asia I thought it would be horrible (I know what you are thinking, how can you mess up Mexican food it's just rice and beans with some peppers thrown in, but OH it can be BAD!). But Vlad had it on good authority that it was good, so we went in.
From the start I knew that we were in for a treat, the restaurant was packed with, what I think were, Latin Americans (which is weird to say about a group of people in Taiwan, but they were speaking a combination of Spanish and English in a way that is unique to certain parts of the US). The restaurant itself had a very Californian Mexican restaurant feel. There were Mexican flags on the wall and lots of pastel. The feeling was enhanced by the waitress who had a VERY strong American accent.
Now, I have been to many a Mexican restaurant in Asia and, let me just tell you, they were not good. Maybe it's the ingredients they use, or just that the technique is so foreign, whatever the reason the food is no good. But this restaurant was great. The salsa was chopped fresh and had just the right balance of onion and tomato, the chips were crispy and salted just right. I had a beef and a chicken Enchilada both of which were perfectly seasoned and not gloopy or oversauced at all. It all left me feeling like we would walk out the door onto a California beach, and when we left (and didn't walk out onto a beach) I was sad. BUT I think I will be going back again soon!
(pics of fish tacos and enchiladas)

Random slice

Today as I was walking home from Babes' school I passed a man who was wearing a bright purple track suit, blue and white tennis shoes and carrying what could have been a Louis Vuitton man bag, while smoking a cigarette. I REALLY wished I had my camera because I would have figured out a way to surreptitiously take a picture of him. There was something quintessentially
foreign about the way this man was dressed, because really, except for his shoes (and I have to say those were a little outdated too), he did not have on one single thing that an American Man would wear. Be it the track suit, the man bag, or more and more recently, cigarette.


In other news, we picked up some weird fruit at the store this weekend. It tastes a little bit like an apricot mixed with a cantaloupe with the texture reminiscent of a watermelon. I wonder what these things are?



And finally, yesterday in a fit of baking I made a pineapple upside down cake. I used to hate these when I was a kid, but now I love them! I think I'm finding my southern roots as I get older. First sweet iced tea, now pineapple upside down cakes.... Next thing you know I'll be frying up chicken and biscuits!

Leftover Oatmeal muffins

The crock pot oatmeal recipe makes TONS of oatmeal and nobody really likes to eat leftover oatmeal (even though with the sturdier oat groats you totally could), so after a little searching I found this recipe for leftover oatmeal muffins. Which makes a really great breakfast muffin. I even cut the butter and sugar in half and it was still Yummy. I think I'm going to tweak it a little and see if I can come up with my own recipe. Anyway, they turned out great and look like this:

Whole Oat Groats

So in an effort to post more often I'm going to start adding some regular slice of life moments that are slightly different because I'm overseas, or maybe regular things that I wouldn't normally do but that I'm doing because I'm overseas. Did that make any sense? No? Well, since no one really reads this, it's ok.

We were in the grocery store last week and I came across these:

They are whole oat groats. Basically it's oatmeal in the most natural state that I've seen it in. To be honest it looks a little like rice. Babes LOVES oatmeal so I've been looking for steel-cut oats here so that she can have porridge in a crock pot (which she loves) instead of so much of the instant stuff. In case you don't know the steel cut oats look like this:

After a lot of internet searching I found a basic recipe of 1 part oats to 4 parts water. Which is very close to the way the steel cut oats are made so I decided to do them the same way. I put a little bit of water in the inside of the bowl to my crock pot, then I took a glass mixing bowl and put it in the water, and I mixed together 1 cup of oats and 4 cups of water, put the lid on, turned my crock pot on low, then went to bed. When we woke up the oatmeal was done and viola!

Which I have to say looks gross when you do a close up shot, but was actually quite tasty! The oatmeal is firmer and not nearly as gooey as the instant stuff. I am definitely convinced that this is the way to go. Tomorrow.... Leftover Oatmeal muffins!

The Key!

I like to entertain, maybe actually LOVE to entertain. Before Babes was born I would spend HOURS painstakingly arranging a menu, then marinating, cutting, and piecing together food. At some point I was even cutting pats of butter in decorative shapes. With the arrival of a child, however, I no longer have the time to spend the whole day in the kitchen. Menus have gotten simpler, decorations less fancy, everything pared down to the essentials.
I had baby group at my house on Friday and then again today. While it is not a dinner party, by a long stretch, it still set my entertaining mind aflutter. BUT instead of a whole day's prep or even several house I had everything together and laid out in under two hours (including dressing myself and the child). And here's what I did...
1. I cleaned the day before: toys picked up, floors vacuumed, kitchen wiped, dishwasher empty. So this morning I only had to put breakfast dishes in the dishwasher.
2. I also made fudge last night (which was mainly because I wanted fudge, not because I felt that these people somehow deserved fudge)
3. To serve, I had a wedge of cheese, then around it crackers, and around that mini oranges, sliced apples, grapes, blue berries, cherry tomatoes.
4. Then I set out the cups, spoons, sugar, and honey for the tea,
And I was all done. I did mourn the fact that my three part serving dish that used to hold olives that I would marinate myself, or marinated mozzarella now held goldfish crackers, but it was still pretty to look at with a minimal amount of fuss.
I have stocked my freezer with all sorts of dinners, but I think my new goal will be to get some entertaining items in there as well. Maybe freeze some bread sticks, cookies, and cheese medallions so that when people show up I can have fresh baked goodies to offer (I loved being able to offer two kinds of homemade fudge!). Now if only I could master the art of small talk.

Kitchen Chemistry

DH is out of town this week and I've been experimenting with kid pleasing meals. And it does work. Add a little ground beef, pasta and cheese to just about anything and my toddler with eat it. Unfortunately to my more adult taste buds this week has been a little uneventful. A kid pleasing meal is good every once and a while but a week's worth... not so much. So most of these casseroles are going into the freezer for lunch time ease and I'm going to spend the next two days experimenting with making sour cream, yogurt and fudge. He he he I've already made Penuche which some people know as brown sugar fudge and it is DELICIOUS! I used to make it as a kid and I hesitate to make it these days unless there are going to be people that I can take it to so that they will eat it. Once you eat some you have to keep eating more so I try to get rid of it as soon as possible. I'm excited to make chocolate fudge though, I've never done it before. It looks like it's the same techniques as making Penuche so hopefully it will turn out well. I always feel a little like Harry Potter in a potions class making candy. You've got sugar, milk, vanilla and butter, add a little heating and cooling, then rapid stirring and VIOLA! You've got fudge. Apparently there are some pretty crazy chemical reactions going on, seriously they should do this in chemistry class too! How much sweeter would it be?

Spanking

Yeah I spank! It's weird that this has become almost a dirty little secret. That people who spank are seen taking the easy way, or are being mean to their kids, or are just ignorant. BUT once I admit to it almost all parents have smacked a butt or two in their day. They are often ashamed, or taken by surprise, or... I don't know. I always knew that I wanted to use spanking as an option for my kid. Before she was born, and as she approached the age where I started to think about discipline I did a lot of thinking, reading, and observing. So when it came down to it I had already decided when I was going to use spanking (in theory). Spanking is not the automatic punishment, nor is it the last resort (I don't know what the last resort is, thankfully I haven't had to go beyond a booty smack). I use a plethora of punishments, when necessary, but frankly Babes is a good kid, most of the time I just need to stay within our set boundaries and she's pretty obedient. It's annoying, but I follow up, almost every single time. So if I say, Babes pick up your toys, and she doesn't I don't just let it be, I walk over and engage. I'm not afraid to cause a scene either. If we have to discipline in public so be it (granted I haven't had to spank her in public, usually interrupting whatever it is that she's doing is usually enough to get her attention). She screams and shouts, and if we have to we'll leave the store only to go back when she's calm again. When I do have to spank it is usually because she is testing the waters and we have been through the other punishments and they have failed, OR I have caught her getting ready to play in the outlet. If she is spanked she usually knows why she got a swift smack to the bum.

I have to say I don't regret it. Yes, there are all those studies that say kids who are spanked hit more, are not as smart, are emotionally disturbed, become sexual sadists, etc etc. But I have determined after reading a bunch of stuff on the web and in books that "the experts" don't know jack. Today they say that kids should be breastfed, yesterday kids should be fed formula, tomorrow maybe they won't have milk at all they'll just start drinking juice from birth. One expert says your kids should sleep in your bed, another says they should sleep in their own crib not anywhere near you. The fact of the matter is that it is your kid, you have to do what works for you. Spanking may not work for your kid, just like time outs don't work for everyone. You have to figure out what your kid is like and what works for you and your family. Like I figured out what works for me and my family. There are no short cuts, parenting is a hard uphill slog through thick slippery mud where you've just lost your map and can't figure out if you've already been this way or not and you're really not sure where you are going you just know that you have to keep going.

Just so you know, as I was leaving the states I heard a report on CNN that said that spanking your kids (under the age of six) could possibly raise their IQ a few points. How's that for mixed messages.

The Past is the Past

Lately I've become obsessed (OBSESSED) with my past. In my spare time (and not spare time) I've been going around and around in my head about people I've known and I've recently become convinced that I was an evil witch. I was completely self absorbed, didn't really listen and didn't really pay attention. I hope that I wasn't snotty or mean, but I bet I was. Personally, I think this is facebook's fault. All of these random people from my past keep popping up and I'm curious what impression I left on them. Of course they won't tell me oh yeah, you were the biggest SNOT that I knew, but I wish they would (or maybe I don't). So I never do ask, or rather I rarely ask, what do you remember about me. But I am curious. What DO people remember about me? Do they think "Oh yeah, that black chick that sat in the back" or maybe I was the mean kid or the smelly kid, and I just don't know it. Do I want to know? Why can't I just leave the past in the past?