Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Wow! Today is April 5, only 10 days away from my 30th Birthday. I am excited about it. 30 is a big milestone. It's weird though, I finally understand what everyone talks about when they say they don't feel old. I don't. I don't feel 30. But then, what does 30 feel like? I'm kinda sad that I never set any goals that I should reach before I hit 30. But I guess that's good because now I don't have to rush about and try to cross off some stupid goal that I set when I was 20 that doesn't really apply to my life now. At 20 I never would have set the goal to learn Chinese, and live and work in China for two years. Nor would I have thought to want to live in Uzbekistan, learn Russian, possibly Uzbek, and make a plan to write a novel. I have done so much, a lot of it off the general outline of what I had wanted to do (ok, maybe I would have wanted to learn Chinese and Russian, they were on my list of lifetime languages to learn) but still so interesting, and fulfilling, that I'm not really missing out.... Ok, I am missing my own career, but I plan to fix that very soon.... I have seen so much, and done so much that I really can't complain... Ok, I can, but I really shouldn't. It's weird though, last night when I thought about it, I think I have been floating by to much in life. I have allowed a lot of my life to happen to me instead of making life happen for me. I still feel like I'm waiting for my chance, when I am letting my chance slip by. If I don't reach out for life, it will just slip through my fingers while I'm not looking. Does anyone ever really plan to one day wake up old?