Monday, January 25, 2010


Yeah I spank! It's weird that this has become almost a dirty little secret. That people who spank are seen taking the easy way, or are being mean to their kids, or are just ignorant. BUT once I admit to it almost all parents have smacked a butt or two in their day. They are often ashamed, or taken by surprise, or... I don't know. I always knew that I wanted to use spanking as an option for my kid. Before she was born, and as she approached the age where I started to think about discipline I did a lot of thinking, reading, and observing. So when it came down to it I had already decided when I was going to use spanking (in theory). Spanking is not the automatic punishment, nor is it the last resort (I don't know what the last resort is, thankfully I haven't had to go beyond a booty smack). I use a plethora of punishments, when necessary, but frankly Babes is a good kid, most of the time I just need to stay within our set boundaries and she's pretty obedient. It's annoying, but I follow up, almost every single time. So if I say, Babes pick up your toys, and she doesn't I don't just let it be, I walk over and engage. I'm not afraid to cause a scene either. If we have to discipline in public so be it (granted I haven't had to spank her in public, usually interrupting whatever it is that she's doing is usually enough to get her attention). She screams and shouts, and if we have to we'll leave the store only to go back when she's calm again. When I do have to spank it is usually because she is testing the waters and we have been through the other punishments and they have failed, OR I have caught her getting ready to play in the outlet. If she is spanked she usually knows why she got a swift smack to the bum.
I have to say I don't regret it. Yes, there are all those studies that say kids who are spanked hit more, are not as smart, are emotionally disturbed, become sexual sadists, etc etc. But I have determined after reading a bunch of stuff on the web and in books that "the experts" don't know jack. Today they say that kids should be breastfed, yesterday kids should be fed formula, tomorrow maybe they won't have milk at all they'll just start drinking juice from birth. One expert says your kids should sleep in your bed, another says they should sleep in their own crib not anywhere near you. The fact of the matter is that it is your kid, you have to do what works for you. Spanking may not work for your kid, just like time outs don't work for everyone. You have to figure out what your kid is like and what works for you and your family. Like I figured out what works for me and my family. There are no short cuts, parenting is a hard uphill slog through thick slippery mud where you've just lost your map and can't figure out if you've already been this way or not and you're really not sure where you are going you just know that you have to keep going.
Just so you know, as I was leaving the states I heard a report on CNN that said that spanking your kids (under the age of six) could possibly raise their IQ a few points. How's that for mixed messages.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Past is the Past

Lately I've become obsessed (OBSESSED) with my past. In my spare time (and not spare time) I've been going around and around in my head about people I've known and I've recently become convinced that I was an evil witch. I was completely self absorbed, didn't really listen and didn't really pay attention. I hope that I wasn't snotty or mean, but I bet I was. Personally, I think this is facebook's fault. All of these random people from my past keep popping up and I'm curious what impression I left on them. Of course they won't tell me oh yeah, you were the biggest SNOT that I knew, but I wish they would (or maybe I don't). So I never do ask, or rather I rarely ask, what do you remember about me. But I am curious. What DO people remember about me? Do they think "Oh yeah, that black chick that sat in the back" or maybe I was the mean kid or the smelly kid, and I just don't know it. Do I want to know? Why can't I just leave the past in the past?

Saturday, January 02, 2010

New Year

So I have looked back on this year's blogging and have come to a decision. I am no longer going to pay for my own domain name. Yes, it's only $10 a year, but there is no need. So starting next month I am going to move my blog to a free space and slowly dismantle my old website (that I never did anything to).
What else will I do this year? I have no idea. I have tried to come up with a list of New Year's resolutions, but my imagination escapes me. I guess I could continue to work on my old standards. Write more, lose weight (when did this become part of my standard list, I am disgusted with myself I HATE dieting), get in shape (which should help with the lose weight part), get organized (HA! Never happens!), be friendlier (is it possible to change your own nature?).
Maybe a better thing would be to complete some of the short term projects that I have started and haven't finished. Like Z's 1st year book/and pics, start her 2nd and 3rd year book and pics, and maybe a 2009 family book. Finish Z's quilt. Finish DH's fish blanket. I don't know what else, I'm sure there's something though.