Thursday, July 23, 2009

Why I do it

So DH has been extraordinarily helpful in the past couple of months and it has made my stay at home mom experience much nicer. I've been thinking about it and talking to my friends about it, and sometimes I feel a little inadequate because my grandmothers both worked full time, raised five children, cleaned and had dinner on the table every night. Keeping that in mind why should I complain about raising just one child, with little or no cleaning and lots of help from my DH?
Last night I finally hit on the answer. There are SO many other things that I could be doing. I went to school for 7 years to get a higher educational degree. I have many talents that would make me valuable to many people. Yet I choose to stay home and I believe that my special combination of talents and abilities make me MOST valuable to my family. I believe that it is an honor and a privilege to be able to stay at home with my family. That being said I want what I give to my family to be freely given, and given out of love. I don't want it tainted by what could have been or what I wish there was. My grandmothers had no choice. It was expected of them to give 150% every day. So they did it. I don't know if they enjoyed it, or always gave what they could with a smile. I know from the stories that my grandparents were tough I believed they loved their families but I don't necessarily think that their families got the best of them.
So yes, I don't vacuum everyday, take care of multiple children, and have three course meals on the table every night at 6, but I'd like to think that I try to give my family the best of me or at least give what I have to give freely and with as much love as I can on any given day. I may not always succeed, but I'd like to think that I try for the best every day. I think that the day that I stop doing that is the day that I am going to need to go back to work.