Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Just a dog

We are going to lose our Honeydog... No, let me say it right, Honeydog is going to die.  What started out as a weird little bump on her sweet face turned out to be a fast growing cancer, that has spread to her lymph nodes.  But whatever, no big deal right?  I knew this day was coming, I knew we were going to far far out live her, after all she's just a dog,right?
Trouble is, Honey is going to take with her a piece of my heart.  I have never cried so much over anything in all my life (ok, well since reaching my middle childhood years).  When we found out that there was nothing more we could do I cried off and on for 2 days.  The sound of my heartbreak must have been very loud indeed because it woke up Babes, DH, and Honeydog at 2 am even though I was making no sound at all.  I honestly didn't expect this sort of reaction, after all she's just a dog, right?
Honeydog has been with us for a short 7 years.  She was DH and my first big responsibility.  We endured racing outside 4-5 times a day during her housebreaking, little puppy whines at 3 in the morning, and destroyed household furnishings.  She taught me the value of patience, love, discipline and consistency.  Barely 6 months after we got her we knew Babes was on the way, and I cracked down on her discipline and routines because I knew change was coming.  I wasn't too worried about Honeydog, after all she's just a dog, right?

Honeydog, not even a full year old, nursed me through my pregnancy.  She was there all day, and by my side when, at 6 months I was still morning sick.  She went to the bathroom door with me and waited patiently for me to come back out with a worried look on her face.  If there was no Honeydog, I wouldn't have gotten off the couch during those horrible months, but her need for walks and attention, spurred me to lift my ballooning body into motion.  Yes, as I got bigger, those walks got smaller, but she'd be okay, after all she's just a dog, right?

After Babes came, I appreciated Honeydog all the more, she was patient, loving, and put up with a whole lot.  I have a video of infant Babes beating Honey over the head with a toy.  Honey didn't move, didn't complain she just tolerated that abuse.  The bond between girl and dog did not happen immediately.  Instead, Honeydog went from ignoring the mild nuisance that took up all our time, to occasionally being interested when she started eating solid foods, to waiting patiently for her to wake up from naps or come home from school.  Babes herself considers Honeydog her best friend, her security blanket, her big sister, and the champion of all her stories.  Honeydog plays a prominent roll in any story, any picture, or any song that Babes creates.  I still don't know how I'm going to tell her that she is going to leave us.  But it's okay right, after all she's just a dog, right?

Honeydog has been with us through 5 international moves.  She has lived in 4 countries, she has been spoken to in 3 different languages.  And people love her everywhere.  I have never met a gentler soul than Honeydog.  I truly believe that, because of our lifestyle, Honey missed her true calling to be a therapy dog.  She is so patient and loving, and calm.  Whenever I had to leave her with someone, be it grooming, or boarding, I always heard back that everyone loved Honey.  With Honey around I never have to worry if there's a strange noise, if it's something to worry about she will bark and check it out.  With Honey around I'm never all alone in a strange house, she's there to listen to me talk.  With Honey around there's always a cold nose, warm dog breath, and soft fur.  After all, she's just a dog, right?
The only thing I know is that the world will be a colder scarier place from now on.