So a high school friend of mine just got in touch with me this week and one of the things she told me as we were catching up is a mutual friend of ours died about two years ago in a car crash. Well, it is sad, yes,I'm sorry maybe tragic is a better word for it. And while I have not shed any tears for him, the fact that he has passed on has disturbed my balance. For the last couple of days the idea has been popping up and twisting around inside my brain. She wrote a very moving tribute on her blog, talking about the day she met him, which got me thinking about how I know other people and where we met, etc.
What I find weird is that when I think about it, a lot of my friends chose me. I am not the chatty type, and I often will be content to sit in a corner and watch the interactions of those around me. So for a friendship to have developed it means that we either had class together, or some other function, or that they started talking to me. I wonder what it is that drew these people to me. Was it that I wasn't talking? Or that I look interesting? Or maybe they just wanted to make me feel more comfortable, and so a friendship started. I don't know.
Don't get me wrong, I have made it a point to befriend some people. I can on occasion be outgoing, it just takes so much effort. You've got to think up things to say, and smile and whatnot, it's so much easier to just be quiet and watch. I think it comes from growing up where I never really fit in. I hung out, and did stuff, but I was never really like everyone else. I learned to cope, and now I really like it, but I guess it leaves a mark.
