Elephants on Parade!

We took six days and traveled up to Addo from Cape Town. It was actually a really nice mini-trip. We took the Garden Route inland to Addo passing through a lot of the South African Peninsula on the way. The closest way that I can think of describing the drive is that its like driving through middle America. There were vast stretches of road where for miles there was no sign of human occupation, except for fences. We didn't even run into other cars. But the scenery was beautiful. The two lane road wound through mountainous farm/grazing land. So the landscape was almost untouched, except for the fences. In this day in age, and in all the places where I've lived, you almost never see scenery untouched by houses, stores, or some sign of humans. It was almost creepy in its emptiness.
We stayed the first night in a place that's pronounced like Oatshorn I forget how it's spelled. It was a cute little town, it would have been nice to have been able to spend more time there, there were supposed to be some very interesting things to see, but the only thing we had time for was the Safari Ostrich Ranch. The ranch is actually pretty interesting we almost had our own private tour. We saw baby ostriches and full grown ostriches and ostrich eggs (I even stood on one!) and even an ostrich race! For dinner that night I had Ostrich steak which is delicious! When I first heard about Ostrich farming in the US I thought it was another one of those "yeah, it tastes like beef" kinda like how snake is supposed to taste like chicken. Well, I've had both, and yes, Ostrich tastes like beef, but no snake does not taste like chicken.
After the Ostrich farm we headed on out to Addo which is on the outskirts of Port Elizabeth. I have to say that the township in Port Elizabeth is no joke. It's better than the one in Cape Town, at least all the PE township "houses" seemed to have roofs, but it was still huge and decrepit. It's simply awful. (maybe I will have time to write a post on the lack of black people in Africa)
In the Elephant park we stayed in these cute cabins right in the park, not next to the wild animals, but very close. In the morning we got up and drove into the preserve. It is actually pretty interesting to see all the animals wandering about doing whatever it is that animals do all day. I thought it would be interesting to describe all the animals, but this is one instance in which our pictures make a much better statement. In a couple of days go to www.shutterfly.mashawna.com and look for the album Africa.

To the ends of the earth and beyond!!!!!!

*SIGH* I had every intention of blogging every night while we were in South Africa. But then we were sitting around trying to figure out what to do with our time here, and we decided to go on a last minute trip to the Addo National Elephant Park. This took us away from Cape Town and my internet access for SIX DAYS! So here's what you missed!
On the day we decided to go to the Elephant Park we journeyed to the Cape of Good Hope which is the most Southern point on the continent of Africa. There are two points on the continent where you can stand and look out over the water, and there's nothing but water as far as the eye can see. In theory, if you had a strong enough telescope and a completely flat earth you'd be able to see all the way to Antartica! The cape itself is incredibly windy and the waves are atrocious! It was crazy to stand at the look out points and imagine that you were a sailor years and years ago coming upon the point. I imagine the cape was pretty ferocious even back then. It was a clear day inland, and yet at the cape the wind was whipping around the island like a madman. It also seemed like the waters just off the coast were lousy with hidden rocks and reefs. But despite all of this it was stunning! The jagged cliffs over looking the rocky wave pounded beach, the mountains in the distance.... All just beautiful!
That evening, like I said, we came home and decided to drive up the penisula to the Elephant Park... but I will tell more about that tomorrow.

Penguins

When we first decided to come to South Africa one of the ways that my hubby sold me on the trip was talk about swimming with the Penguins. In Cape Town there is a pretty extensive penguin preserve where you can get pretty close to the nesting grounds of the local penguins. I went thinking that you might see a penguin or two here and there, but no, it is in all actuality, a penguin nesting ground. There were penguins everywhere! Then we went down onto the beach where the penguins also swim around and you could walk around with the Penguins. The kids we were with were playing around in the water and a penguin swam right by them. Then, as I was sitting on the beach a penguin popped right by us so to get to his nest.
It is actually kinda cool to be able to commune with local wildlife like that. I always thought penguins were kinda mean, but no, they kept to themselves, and didn't really bother any of the people.

South Africa!

So we have now been in South Africa for an entire day! Unfortunately, I have been knocked out for most of it. For the first time Babes was not a good traveler, and she woke up whining every thirty-fourty minutes during the plane ride. Which I guess I can understand, those plane seats are not in the least bit comfortable. Now she has her very first cold too, and she's so pitifully cute. She wants to be cheerful, but she's just so tired...
ANYWAY, South Africa is like a super beautiful southern California. The weather feels about the same, and the sky has that same light blue look. Our friends' house is not too big, or too small, but when you walk out into their back yard it is absolutely amazing! First of all the yard is a huge expanse of lawn, with a medium sized pool tucked away into one corner. Their covered porch has big stuffed comfy chairs that are in the perfect position to see the mountain in the distance. Yesterday, I sat with Babes on the chair watching the sun set over the mountain. Absolutely stunning! I've decided I don't even care to see the rest of Cape Town I'm just going to sit on their back porch for two weeks!

More favorite things

I realized last night why the list seemed so lame to me. I left out all the really good parts of stay at home momminess because I didn't want to be THAT woman... well I am slowly starting to realize that I AM that woman, and there's nothing wrong with it... I suppose, as my hubs says we should just buy a Volvo and get it over with (I'm not ready for that yet. We'll just start with adding to the list)

More Favorite Things:
13. Little baby hands patting my face
14. Little baby feet taking little baby steps
15. Loud baby voices saying "UP!"
16. Weird baby crawl
17. Cute baby laughs
18. Big baby smiles
19. Nursing (although it's loosing it's charm as she gets older)
20. Watching dog put up with getting beat on the head
21. Sneaky baby smiles
22. Big baby yawns
23. Sloppy baby kisses
24. Baby hugs

...hmmm I'm sure I'll think of more but I feel better about the list now.

A few of my favorite things

Post holiday I am finding it hard to find my inner domestic goddess. I am grumpy and out of sorts, and in general just a little blah. But whenever I try to complain, or want to complain it always ends up sounding so lame because deep down I really do love being a stay at home mom in a foreign service family. I mean lets face it, I could be working 70 hrs a week, in a little office with a tiny window (if I'm lucky) staring at a computer screen all day, come home, make some dinner then kiss babes on the head as she is sleeping, OR I can travel the world, stay at home and teach my daughter where her nose is, have a maid, and go on vacations from my vacation like life. So I'm going to make a list of things that I like about being a stay at home mom to see if I can't coax my goddess out of hiding.
My favorite things (in no particular order)
1. Really cute daughter
2. No office
3. No annoying co-workers
4. Never having to receive or write a memo
5. Lunchtime is whenever we feel like it
6. Daily meetings last less than 20 minutes before broken up to bang on something
7. I have been at home for less than two weeks and I'm already going on vacation again.
8. Dress is casual or pajamas, whichever I prefer
9. Every day is different, you never know what is going to happen.
10. Digital cameras are awesome!
11. I have a maid
12. I learn something new every day

hmmm.... I have run out of steam. I guess this list will just have to do for now.

The Big Mac Museum

One of the highlights of my trip back to the US was going to visit my friends in PA. It was a different trip going with babes. Normally I just hang out with them and their three kids. Which is not as bad as it might sound, their kids are AWESOME! so polite and well behaved almost all of the time. Even when i didn't have kids I liked to go hang out with them. Now with babes my kid plays (sort of) with their kids, their kids weren't as bored with me.... All around fun! However it's usually not much to blog about, after all I'm hanging out with college friends and their kids. The stuff that I find fun about those kinds of weekends would not interest the world (it barely interests my husband, and/or parents).
But, about three or four months ago I received an article about the Big Mac Museum which is not far from their house in PA. So, of course, I had to go! Yes, it's just a big McDonald's, BUT it has a GIANORMOUS big mac statue and lots of random big mac information. As well as every commercial ever made about the big mac. So while stuffing myself on some good old fried foods I read up on the big mac and took some pictures.

I am Wuss

I am Wuss! No, not Will Smith, or even his character in the movie, but me. For some reason (and hopefully it's temporary) ever since Zora was born my overactive imagination has gone back to the days where it won't let me sleep if I watch a scary movie. Case in point. I am Legend. Not that scary, but I stayed up the ENTIRE night after I watched it. I think it's mostly my own fault. I gave my brain time to process the movie before going to bed, so that once I got to bed all those gaps left in the narration were filled in by my imagination. What happens in between the time that New York is quarantined and the movie begins, well I can tell you, and it's not pretty. Before this didn't bother me so much. I figured I could kick butt with the best of them, and if not I'd die and go to Heaven, but now.... NOW I have a daughter so my remaining night time thoughts dwelt upon would I rather have her infected and watch her die, or have myself get infected, die, then leave her all alone, or have both of us un-infected but then have to fight like mad to protect us both, or maybe both of us die in a fiery crash.
But really, ever since I read the Stand (you gotta love Stephen King) I have worried about a global-civilization-ending pandemic. Would you want to be on the surviving side? I mean yes, to die is a horrible thing. To die young is even worse, but it's got to be difficult being a survivor. Every time I think about it I end up thinking about the scene from The Stand where the main character is trying to get out of Manhattan and has to take the tunnel, in the dark, with cars full of bodies.... How creepy is that? What would it be like to live in a world made up of mostly ghosts? Where everyone you know has died... where you might have even watched everyone you know die? How do you keep going?
I pray that I never have to find out.

SNOW!

It snowed in Baku today! Just like last year, there are cars sliding all over the road, and big huge drifts of snow everywhere. We have taken turns standing by the window watching the Ladas and Nivos slide down the hill. I should have taken pictures again, but I was busy chasing the little crawler around the apartment.

Lame

It's really lame when you have a travel blog that you don't update when you are traveling (but yes, I am lame like that).
Babes and I just got back from a whirlwind tour of the US. Yes we were there for 2 months, but during that time, Babes and I went to Philly, Vegas, New York, Pittsburgh, Columbus, Richmond, and DC. We saw a lot of good friends and family, we visited the Met and the Big Mac Museum, and we celebrated Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas.
Now it's 2008 and we are back in Baku, but only for a brief respite, in two weeks we are going to pack our bags and head out again. This time to South Africa!

crawling

Babes is CRAWLING!

Lazy mom

So Halloween came and went and babes did not wear a costume, Honey did not wear a costume, I did not wear a costume. I'm actually glad I did not buy costumes for the younguns this year because Halloween was canceled (for the Americans at least) due to the craziness of the last week. However, I fully intend to go to the websites for the post Halloween sales and purchase a Darth Dog and Yoda baby costume for my wee ones so that next year we will take whatever country we are in by storm or stormtroopers in our Halloween getup.
This is, of course, on the heels of an email I got from my brother entitled "why dogs bite people" (http://www.jibjab.com/view/55464) which shows dogs looking pitiful in their Halloween costumes. I scanned the email looking for good costume ideas for the crazy dog.... but I still think Darth Dog and Yoda baby are the best (followed closely by Bat Girl and Robdog).

Playing with the dog

a little morning fun with our dear Honey!

Back to normal

I think things are slowly starting to move back towards normal here. I'm glad we are going away at the beginning of next week though. There's nothing like a little scare to make you realize just how complacent you've gotten. Not that I'm usually lax about my personal security, but I have begun to think about it as routine, or part of my own personal paranoia. But even after this, I am not afraid to leave my apartment. At some point you have to own your fear and figure out ways to get past it. Your time is not your own to begin with. You could decide not to go to NY because of terrorism and then die on your own street in a car accident. You could decide not to leave your house, and slip and fall in the shower. You just never know.
Because of this, I have been trying to make the most of every day. Not do the most, or see the most, but at least try to enjoy the day. I make sure to thank God for everyday that I spend at home with my daughter as a stay at home mom. I know that I didn't want to be a stay at home mom, but I am really enjoying it, and I feel like I am doing the right thing by my daughter. I think part of the reason I am enjoying it so much is because I do see it as a gift. We may not do much, maybe we just sit on the couch and babble at each other, but it's still a gift. She could be in a nursery and I could be behind a desk billing hours. I am trying to work on seeing my hubby as a gift too, and trying not to take him for granted, but it's tougher going. I think once you forget to be thankful for something it's harder to get back into the habit. I'll let you know how it goes.

The news

So news of what's actually going on has finally hit the mainstream media. It's a little frustrating that my knowledge of what's going on is limited to what Yahoo! has or what CNN reports on. Apparently some Wahhabi (according to Yahoo: Wahhabism originated in Saudi Arabia in the 18th century. It is rooted in the idea of restoring Islam's purity by purging it of foreign and corrupting influences.) gathered some weapons and grenades in an effort to launch an attack against the US Embassy.
It's a little bit unsettling. Most of the people here are very friendly, and not very conservative at all. There are a few people here that wear their hair covered, or have grown beards, but generally people dress more revealing than I do. I think it's sad that a handful of people have the ability to completely change your view of a place. You hear it all the time on TV, but I guess I never really thought about it before. Just like Christianity, Islam is a religion of brotherhood and love, and just like with Christianity, a few people can take the words of God and twist them to serve their own purpose. I don't understand why people work very hard to turn something beautiful and comforting into a source of nightmares. Religion is supposed to be helpful to people not hurtful to others. I don't know about any of the other religions, but I know that Jesus preached peace and non-violence. But things that are often done in His name are anything but.
My husband comes from the former Soviet Union, and coming from a culture of agnosticism to the US he is naturally skeptical of religion. And to be honest, the US, well anywhere for that matter, does not paint a flattering view of religious people. But its just like with any group in the US. Only those who are doing something truly wonderful (like pulling a child out of a burning building, rescuing puppies from floods, or delivering babies in subways, etc.), or something hideously awful, are reported in the media. So for the most part on the news you only see and hear stories about suicide bombers, rapists and murders, or abortion clinic bombers.
I guess what it boils down to is that you should always try your best to be a good member of the group you represent. Because, like they told you in school, one or two people can ruin it for everyone.

Uh oh!

After three years overseas we have our first scare. The embassy is shut down today because of a threat. It's so weird to be in a situation where you both directly and indirectly affected by something and not be able to talk about it, or even really know what is going on. I have all these questions rattling around in my brain, but I know better than to ask them, and I know that even if I did ask I wouldn't get a response. So for about an hour yesterday I wandered around the house trying to ask cryptic questions but eventually gave up in frustration of my husbands equally cryptic answers. But I guess now that I have a baby it's a little better for me. Before it was my opinion that if it was dangerous, if I couldn't go, he shouldn't go. But now I think someone's gotta be around for babes. So if he has to go be in danger, it's better if I stay with babes. I still don't like it though.

DEBT FREE!!!!!!!!

My hubby just sent in the last check for his student loans!!!!! He is now debt free! Way to go!!!!

Baku

It's fall in Baku and it really is a pleasant time of year. The weather is cooler now, and it's not quite as windy as it will be in the winter. I went this morning and walked along the boardwalk with Babes. It was gorgeous, the morning sun was glinting off the Caspian, the birds chirping and circling overhead, and there weren't that many people so I wasn't constantly circling around someone. It's too bad Honey's legs have problems because I think she would really enjoy the morning walks too. There are some other people out with their dogs, and Honey could be with us while we walked, I might even take her off leash! I know I have been saying bad things about Baku, but I think I've turned a corner, and I am now starting to enjoy it. It helps that all of the other moms in my baby group are very nice, and that the weather has cooled down a lot. But I'm out now, twice a month, with friends, and I get out of the house with Babes once or twice a week, at least (if I wanted I could be out every day), I've got language classes, and a language partner, and then there's Babes! I have a very full life here in Baku. I have to say that it also helps that I am not pregnant. I only hope that other posts that we go to in the future will be as rewarding.

To market to market

I can't believe we're already into fall! The weather here has cooled down, the kids have gone back to school, and my baby has started eating solid foods! Not that the last thing has anything to do with the weather, but it seems to coincide nicely with the start of a new season. In honor of Babes' first new vegetable we went to the big farmer's market to see if we couldn't find something recommended for little bellies to start off with.
ALL the "make your own baby food" websites suggest that you go with sweet potatoes, avocado, carrots, or squash as a first food. I have only been to the market here once before during the super hot summer, and it was pretty fun. There are the colorful fruits and veggies piled up on the stands and the colorful people from the regions behind the stands. Interestingly enough, gold teeth are very popular in people from the regions. I know that it was a common sight once in the US, but now it always disturbs me when I see it.
Today I was not quite so excited to be at the market. For some reason there were bees all over the place so every time I would relax a little a bee would fly by and I would try very hard not to freak out (I'm very afraid of bees and bugs in general), I don't want young babe to be afraid of bees like her mama, but it was very hard work. So we quickly made our purchases, I ended up buying squash for the babe, I knew the other vegetables were a lost cause before I began, but I thought that I would look anyway. But, there was a big discussion about sweet potatoes at our last baby group and people thought they saw them, but no they did not. I've seen avocados but they are always over ripe and very expensive ($5-6 a piece! YIKES!), and my hubby is allergic to carrots. So we were left with squash.
Babes was a big hit, as she almost always is, at the market. Azeris love babies. They always coo and fuss over her, and generally I don't mind, but at the market, you've got people from the regions, and well.... the hygiene is not what I would want for my baby who puts everything in her mouth. I am usually pretty laid back, but I don't want the man in the bloodstained apron, and blood encrusted fingernails touching my Babes' hand. Last time we went someone either blessed Babes, or cursed her, I'm not sure, but he looked happy, so I'm going to go with a blessing. This time we escaped with just a few looks and funny baby attracting noises.

more nibbles

more video from Zora's first meal!

Solids!

Well, we took the plunge and started Zora on solid foods yesterday. She took to them surprisingly well. She was so thrilled I think she had been waiting for the opportunity to eat something other than milk.

A walk in the past

For my hubby's Jubilee birthday we took a trip back to his old stomping ground to see what the past had left. So we packed our bags, baby and camera and took off to the Ukraine to see what there was to be seen. As this was our first trip with a baby we decided not to be too ambitious and we only went to Kiev and Odessa. Unfortunately from Baku there are only local airlines going to other post-soviet spaces so we had to fly Azall to Kiev. Despite my misgivings, Azall wasn't too bad. The flight was reasonably on time, reasonably clean, the food was tolerable, and the staff was not openly hostile (which is more than I can say for a lot of US flights).
Kiev was much better than I expected it to be. I think I was expecting a larger Baku, meaning more depressing, square, soviet style buildings. I guess I forgot that Kiev had hundreds of years of history before the USSR and despite the general oppressiveness of the communists, they did not destroy everything that was there before. So what that means is that Kiev had a lot of really pretty European style buildings along it's main street, and beautiful wide tree lined roads. Commerce is definitely alive and well in Kiev as there are many shops and restaurants to choose from. One popular eating establishment, Mr. Snack a place that serves sandwiches and beer, was literally on every corner (if it had been Manhattan it would have rivaled the prevalence of Starbucks).
Weirdly enough, in Kiev as in Baku, people do not just get married on Saturdays. Apparently it's common to have a wedding any day of the week. So while we were there, and visiting some of the famous churches of Kiev, we were surrounded by brides and grooms taking their, apparently, standard wedding shots. We stopped to have water and give Zora a rest before going into St. Sophia and I think I counted 15 brides coming through to have their pictures taken in front of the old church.
After Kiev we flew to Odessa on a local Ukrainian airline. Now this flight was not so pleasant. In order to board the flight, you had to take a shuttle out to the tarmac. We arrived at the plane, but the cleaning crew was apparently not finished, so the bus is unloaded, and all of the passengers, flight attendants, and pilots were standing out on the tarmac in front of the stairs to the plane in the cold rain and wind. It was actually pretty amusing because the other passengers were getting really mad at the crew because another woman and I were standing around with our babies in the cold. I felt very special.
Anyway, Odessa is a very beautiful little town. Odessa and Baku are very similar to each other, they are about the same size, they are both on the sea, and they were both part of the Soviet Union. But the way they have used their post soviet space is very different. It looked to me like Odessa really saw that they had a pretty town and worked hard to make it prettier. All around town you could see the money people were putting into renovating. Parks were replanted, fountains refurbished, buildings repainted, etc. The walking street, was actually a walking street with restaurants lining the sidewalks and brightly lit shops. I think the street was shorter than the walking street in Baku, but it was much more pleasant to walk down. The seashore also looked very nice but it was unseasonably cold for the five days we were there and we could not spend my promised days at the beach.
All in all, it was a very nice trip and I'm glad to have gotten the chance to visit the old stomping ground of my hubby.

Rocky

Honey has a house guest this week. Or maybe I should say we are forcing Honey to entertain a house guest this week. A friend of ours is out of town and we agreed to dog sit. I have never appreciated Honey more than I have this week. It's not that Rocky is a bad dog. I think Rocky is a very good dog, but he is not nearly as eager to please as Honey is. Honey picks up new concepts in a matter of days. Rocky... well he just doesn't care. Not only that, but I had forgotten how annoying it is to have a male dog. When I walk with Honey we just walk, we don't need to stop every two seconds so she can mark some tree, bush, or weed. Just walking. It's so nice. I don't think I ever want another male dog.
It's funny to watch the two of them interact though. I can't figure out Honey's deal. I honestly don't know that much about dog to dog body language, but as far as I can tell Honey is not submitting to Rocky, yet it looks like she's getting her butt kicked. Rocky occasionally will get annoyed at Honey's constant attention and will snap at her, Honey doesn't back down, or back away, but she also doesn't fight back. I wonder if she's concerned she's going to get into trouble, or if she just doesn't care what Rocky is doing. Either way, they both recognize me as Alpha dog. Anytime they've been up to no good and I come into the room they both stop whatever they were doing and look at me with the "I'm a good dog, see!" expression on their faces. I wonder if I'm going to have the same Alpha dog tendencies toward Zora. Or if she's just going to run all over me.

Antisocial

I don't know why I'm so antisocial. Vlad can go out and talk to almost anybody at almost anytime. Me, I have to work up to it. Like right now. Our maid is here, and I want to go out and get breakfast, but then I'd have to talk to her and deal with whatever mood she's in, and I just can't face the thought. You would have thought I would have gotten used to her by now, she's been here for a year. But no. And if I talk to her, I feel better about her being here, but the thought of talking to her. Today it's just too much.

Summer's End

I think the summer in Azerbaijan is broken. Somehow written it doesn't carry the same meaning as when it's said out loud. But I think that the hottest part of the summer has passed. I don't know why I think that. There's just something different in the air. That makes me think that fall is on it's way. I think maybe the wind has shifted. So that instead of the hot furnace breeze, there is now a cool, refreshing breeze. Granted it's still hot, just not as hot.

roll over, roll over

 

Addicted!

I have decided that I am seriously addicted to sugar. At first it was ok, I figured that after my 8 or so months of enforced no sugar (due to pregnancy hormones making all sweets taste like I was licking a hand rail in the subway) I thought I would splurge and indulge my sugar cravings for awhile. I thought that I would slowly taper myself off the sugar, and no one would be harmed by a few months of sugar highs. Apparently, though, sugar is a habit forming substance. We are almost at the five month mark of my sugar indulgence and I see no signs of the cravings letting up. I'm still baking almost once a week, and drinking juice like a mad woman. This is, no doubt, not helping my goal to be back to pre-pregnancy weight or better by my brother's wedding, so I think I'm going to have to take drastic measures. Hopefully, I will not have to go the way of Vlad and start eating salads every day for dinner. That would be truly depressing indeed.

Roll Over!

Wee Babe rolled over today. It was a little anticlimactic. I think because she has been tipping over side to side since she was born, I was pretty sure it was pure laziness that was keeping her from rolling all the way over, and yes, I think it was. She rolled over today like she had been doing it for months. Her arm was a little stuck under her, but that didn't seem to matter. She just popped it out from under her, no prob! Of course, she might have been waiting until she was sure she had perfected the skill so that when she did roll over it looked all perfect. Crap! This means I can't just leave her on the bed anymore. *SIGH* so it begins.

The Horror!

I have gotten old! I just realized today for the first time in several months that I do not have a copy of the original (or new) Star Wars movies! This is unthinkable! How has it come to be that the only copies I have are on VHS and our VHS player has died??? How am I going to watch the Star Wars movies? I feel that I should go to Amazon right now and buy all 6 movies right now, but I am stubbornly waiting the special 6 disc editions to end all editions! Oh wait, that is how I came to be without the movies. I am waiting, perhaps foolishly, for the entire thing to come out in one grossly expensive set. What do you call a six part movie? sexology? No that somehow sounds dirty and wrong... Hold on while I look it up. Surprisingly it's hard to find out what a 6 part movie is. But I have persevered it is a hexology. Hmm I was close I just had one letter wrong, I should have remembered that a six sided figure was not a sexagon, but a hexagon. Silly me.
Anyway, I am still foolishly waiting. But I don't know if I can last until the 6 disc set comes out. Will I be able to afford the six disc set? Ah no matter, it will have to be bought. (Ooh I apologize to the grammar police, but it is late)

Remiss

Looking over my last several posts I just realized that I have not written anything about Baku in awhile.
Summer is finally here, and there are a lot more people out on the street than when I first arrived. I now see women on a regular basis, even during the middle of the day or in the evening. Although maybe it's just that I've taken to wandering in places where women are more like to be, I don't know. But I should not have worried about my American summer wear. I am far more modest than most women here, even in this conservative culture. Whenever we go down to the boardwalk I feel that I should have added more hooch to my wardrobe. Maybe bared a little more skin, or added high heels to the jeans... something. I think it's a little odd that despite the fact that women are not allowed to walk around by themselves, it's perfectly ok for them to walk around in outfits that would put hookers to shame, ok, I think I'm being a little overly dramatic. They are actually usually tastefully, if not scantily dressed. But it still doesn't make any sense to me. But apparently, if you are with someone else what you are wearing doesn't make a difference.
Speaking of clothing. We went to the beach on Wednesday, which was fun, and pleasant, although not as clean as I would have liked (cigarette butts everywhere!). And I realized that I should have worn my bikini. Apparently, women at the beach, even the expensive ones, are not starved and exercised into unnatural thinness here. 200lbs? Want to wear a bikini? Go right on ahead! 50? Middle aged spread? Go ahead and put on that thong! Needless to say I was feeling pretty good about my post-pregnancy body by the time we went home. I didn't even mind Vlad snapping a few photos. After all, no-body's perfect right?

unexpected

I have grown to really like breastfeeding. I didn’t think I would; you’re constantly damp, it can be very inconvenient, and you constantly have something sucking at your chest. But, it feels right. I can’t think of any other way of explaining it. With all that’s wrong in the world, putting a baby on your breast just feels somehow right, like this is what I was meant to do. It’s a very subtle feeling though, I just started noticing it. Before I was too busy, I’d sit down to feed the baby, but my mind was elsewhere, I wanted to get up, to go here, to go there, breastfeeding was more like a stone dragging me down. Now I just sit. I know she’s going to eat, and I know how long it takes, and there’s nothing else I can do, so I sit, and I realized how nice it is. I know its hormones. Breastfeeding releases tons of hormones into your body to make you want to do it, and to feel good doing it. I understand that, I welcome it. I love my baby more knowing it. I have to say I was very ambivalent about this whole baby business, and I think that breastfeeding her has really helped move me from, yeah this is my baby to I love my baby. How can you not love someone who, by the simple act of feeding, helps you to relax and feel like you are doing something amazing. It also helps that she is now able to express some of her appreciation of my boobs. In the morning when she sees them she starts kicking her legs and waving her arms with this huge grin on her face like they are the best things in the world. Not even the boyfriends that I had as a teenager loved my boobs like she does. When she’s hungry she also will try to curl around my boobs, or grab them with both her hands and her feet and then tuck her head in so that her whole body is wrapped around me and my milk giving nipples. Then, while she eats, she will caress the boob that she’s eating from with her free hand, and I can almost hear her thinking, “my precious.”
Breastfeeding also comes with a great sense of accomplishment. Since she was born, my baby has almost doubled in size, and the only thing she eats is what I make for her. I can look at my growing, thriving baby and say, I did that, she is living and growing because I am making enough for her to grow on. I never thought I would say it, but I think I will be sad when she gets close to six months and we start feeding her solids. And then, when I wean her, how will I get my relaxing hormones? They should bottle the hormones and sell them, they are great! I can be pissed off, super mad, want to yell and scream at the world, but then I breastfeed and all is well. Sometimes at night when I can’t sleep I want to wake up the baby so that she can eat and relax me (I don’t, of course, I’m not as crazy as I look).

Some people should know better

So Zora had a rash earlier this week and we were supposed to host baby group so I decided to take her into the Embassy nurse to have the rash looked at. I wasn't actually worried about it, but it had spread a little, and there were other babies coming so I figured better to be safe than sorry. We went in, everything looked fine, nothing to worry about, etc. etc. But as we were leaving and she's looking at our chart, she says to me, "interestingly enough Measles starts off as a rash that starts around the hairline, then spreads down the back and stomach, but everything is fine, nothing to worry about." And I think she also mentioned that as a baby Zora does not yet have her measles immunization so I shouldn't leave her with anyone who has a rash.
Now, why on earth would you tell a first time mom this? I have decided not to worry about it because really her rash was already getting better by the time I took her in, and it's pretty much gone today, but if I was someone else, this could have thrown me into a panic. Or at least freaked me out a little. She really should know better.

The Finger

Driving here is terrible. I personally don't think it's as bad as driving in China, fewer people for one thing, but Vlad disagrees. The trouble here is that most people know how to drive, they just don't think road rules apply to them. You still have the expensive car effect (if you drive an expensive car, the cops won't pull you over, and you can do whatever stupid moves you want, because you are Somebody) but there are more expensive cars, and everyone else has Ladas which will drive through almost anything. Combine those two things and you have chaos as the general road rule. On any given day you can look out our window (it overlooks a fairly busy traffic circle) and see people driving backwards, driving the wrong way down the street, or, most common, using the far left lane to make a sharp right. Since I've come back to Baku with the baby I've started driving in this mess. Which is not as bad as it sounds, the way I cope is that I don't use side or rear view mirrors at all. If I am in front of you, I expect you to watch out for me, if you are in front of me, I will watch out for you. I think this is generally how people drive here. I still check blind spots (bad habit I can't seem to break) and I still wait for a clear space before barreling out into traffic, but for the most part I get along ok.
I have recently discovered, however, that people here do not know what the middle finger means. This has been VERY liberating for me. I thought that American movies had spread this offensive piece of sign language all over the world, and that if I gave people the finger it would cause nasty confrontations that would not be wise with a child in the back of the car. BUT NO! I can use the finger at will, which is great because I generally find the use of the horn to be annoying, people here over use it. They blow their horns at the slightest provocation and I mean slightest! So as I drive around now I liberally use my finger, and I don't have to worry. It's great because I feel better, even though I know that it doesn't mean anything to them, it relieves some of the impotence that you feel when you are the only one trying to obey traffic rules, and I just like it. I've been thinking about following one of my Aunt's examples and growing out the nail to my middle finger really long so it makes more of a statement......

Getting Bigger

Ah... my baby is growing up. Friday night we moved her to her crib and out of our room. It's weird that I'm sad about this, I never really wanted her in our room to begin with, but Vlad thought it would be a good idea. And to tell the truth, she seems to be sleeping better on her own, although it has only been two nights (I think I was secretly hoping she would scream the whole night so we would move her back into our room). It was only a week or two sooner than I had set to move her anyway. She was going to move out at four months, but we took her to see the nurse for a check up and she was 15.25 pounds! She had already outgrown her bassinet! So, out she went. There is freedom, though to having a baby move out of your room. I can read in bed again, I can look for something in our room after Zora has gone to sleep, and I can turn over at night without fear of waking her up. On the whole it's a good change, it's just a mixed feeling seeing her grow.

sunrise

I have always thought that nothing good ever comes with watching a sunrise. If you are seeing the sunrise (in normal places, not Alaska) it either means that you are up WAY too early, or you have stayed up way too late. In my day, I have seen sunrises on both ends of the spectrum. Riding back to my apartment on the subway in Tokyo watching the sun rise through bleary club darkened eyes is no good. And waking up to go to work (or even to take some plane) is no good either. In either situations the supposed beauty of the sunrise is lost to me.
As I was feeding my daughter this morning in the pre-sunrise dark of the morning I thought about my sunrise aversion. If I liked watching sunrises waking up at five to feed her would have some benefit. But, no, I don't like sunrises, and as the sun began to rise, I was even less happy to be awake (if that's possible). We're definitely going to have to have that talk.....

what the F@#%!

I admit it I am a BIG FAT WUSS when it come to my sleep. I don't like it being interrupted, not at all. And I have to say one of the biggest, most concrete, thing I worried about during pregnancy was the lack of sleep that the newborn would bring. And I have to say Zora was actually pretty good about it. Almost from the beginning the child was sleeping at night for long stretches of time. At first I was waking her up in the middle of the night to feed her because the doctor at the hospital was worried that she had lost too much weight. BUT, after a week or two (it might have been as many as four) she looked like she was thriving and I stopped waking her at night (at four weeks she had gained 3lbs from her birth weight) to feed. And she started sleeping five to six hours at a time. Then we moved to Baku and she was jet lagged, and the sleep issues were severe (she would sleep for almost 24 hours, then be awake for almost 24 hours). But I persisted and she found her schedule and started sleeping completely through the night, not the wimpy "medical" definition of sleeping through the night. You know, the one where if the baby sleeps from 12 to 5 it's considered sleeping through the night. No, she was sleeping a full 10 hours, from 9pm to 6am, on her own, no special coaxing once you put her down at night.
But then, suddenly, she snatched it all away. I blame myself, we bragged to other new parents that she was sleeping through the night, and for the last week or two she has started randomly waking up two or three times a night. What's worse is, she's not hungry. She will go right on back to sleep without eating, she is just UP! Vlad wants me to feed her so she'll go right on back to sleep. He doesn't seem to see this for what it is.... A TRAP! If we get into the middle of the night feeding routine, she will only want to keep doing it. We must resist! We will prevail!
Maybe I need to have a heart to heart with Zora like I had with the dog.... (When she was a puppy, the dog almost got choked out one night, and after that she realized that she really didn't need to get up to go out at night)

responsible adults

MAN! I hate being all grown up! It was bad enough when I was eighteen and people were entrusting their kids in my care, saying as long as you take an adult with you... but now I'm actually responsible for other people! ACK! This past year has been very bad for my adult responsibilities creeping up on me. First the dog now the baby! It's not that I want these decisions made for me. It's my dog, and my baby. I just don't know how you are supposed to decide. Especially when both decisions are bad, or have negatives.... but then I guess all decisions have positives and negatives. If only one of the possibilities had negatives, then I guess it would be easy. I keep thinking about that Peter Pan song. "I won't grow up, I don't wanna wear a tie, or a serious expression in the middle of July!" I want to know how this happened. How did I get to be the grown up and the responsible party?

Domestic Help

Having a maid is not as easy as you would think. First of all you have someone else in your house a lot touching your stuff, which is not so bad as it sounds at first, but then you have to find her (I use her because most domestic help is female) something to do on a regular basis, AND often times she puts stuff away and you have to spend time searching for things that she has neatly put away somewhere.
I think part of my main problem is that I almost feel like this person is doing me a favor by cleaning my house (even though I'm paying her) so I don't want to be evil and nitpicky because she's doing things so I don't have to. So even when she's doing things, like picking up after me, and putting my stuff away (for some reason this drives me NUTS!) I don't want to tell her to stop because technically it is her job, and I don't want her to think that I'm mean. I should just grow a pair and have her do stuff because I AM paying her. I think the other problem that I have is I don't know what I want done. My husband definitely has ideas of what he wanted done, but other than vacuuming, dusting, and washing the clothes.... I don't know. Maybe I should find one of those online guides to managing a household staff.

new body

One of the cool things about motherhood is watching Zora try out her new body. It is like watching someone with a new car or some other new electronic device. Every week she finds a new feature and starts figuring out how it works. Last week she discovered that her feet were in her control. She was using them before, but I don't think she knew that she was doing it. But last week, she would stare at her feet and then move them in circles trying to figure out how she did certain things. I think she also discovered what creates certain sensations because she all of a sudden really likes rubbing her feet together. This week she learned how to grab things. The learning process on that was very interesting because I think she figured out how to line up her hand to where she was looking before she figured out how to open and close her hands at will. So she was constantly punching things with her fists, and then all of a sudden she started grabbing at things. She would reach for, and end up with stuff in her hands before but I'm not entirely sure that it was on purpose. But you can see her thinking about things. "Now if I move my hand this way, and then open the fingers, and reach, and close, HA! GOT IT!"

Organized

So I've just come back from a Mum's night out with some of the Mums from my baby group, and it's odd this is the second time in a week that someone's told me that I'm pretty organized. And I keep thinking to myself, "No, No! If only they knew" But then I start to wonder, am I becoming that person? Am I organized? If so when did this happen? And how did I get to be that person? My image of myself is of the crazed mess that I was all through school. Notes for all my classes in all my notebooks, nothing ever done on time, papers flying every which way. And sometimes I still feel that way, diapers flying about, clothes half on, six bags, none of them packed properly.... But I wonder if I come off as that organized Mum, whose child is always well dressed and who always has everything? Or maybe it's just because I'm quiet and no one knows that I'm actually a complete disaster, because I never say anything.

Giving up

So I've finally given up. At the beginning of this week, I ran out of creative and fun things to do with my baby.... We had read a book, had tummy time, play on back time, sang songs, danced, ate, slept, and there were still hours in the day to kill, so I finally put on baby Einstein for Zora to watch while sitting in her car seat, and I have to say, she loves it. The mother guilt has me though, I feel like I should be doing something with her, but I think this is actually better because she's being entertained by something other than me. It's very hard to convince her that being on her own for a few minutes is not so bad. And as an added bonus she is learning to like her car seat. Before she would immediately start screaming as soon as I strapped her in, but now, she will sit in her seat by herself for whole groups of minutes at a time. YEAH! This whole Baby Einstein phenomenon is very odd, it's just a bunch of pictures of baby toys set to music, but she really seems to like it. Of course, she just likes music in general. We're going to need to teach her to play an instrument.

World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR) - Naked Bicycle People Power! Stop indecent exposure to vehicle emissions!

World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR) - Naked Bicycle People Power! Stop indecent exposure to vehicle emissions!
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So we were flipping through the channels here and we came across a news report on the world naked bike ride. It was very disturbing, a little like a car wreck where you couldn't look away. I looked it up and they were selling t-shirts. Why are they selling t-shirts for a naked bike ride?

Back in Baku

Well, I'm back in Baku again. It seems like I've been away forever, and I guess I was at my parents house for about 4 months, but the time really did go by pretty quickly. We also survived the plane ride, despite all of the nights where I'd awaken in a cold sweat from nightmares of taking a small infant on a plane. And if you compare traveling with an infant to traveling in the first semester of pregnancy (not pretty, not pretty at all) it was a walk in the park.
We arrived at the airport super early to check in (you know I'm a full fledged mommy now, I've got tons of luggage, a dog and a baby, so I wanted to make sure there was plenty of time for everything) and I got the slowest checkout person in the planet helping me out. When I arrived at the counter the woman took one look at me and said she wasn't sure she could help me because I had a dog, even though the sign above her head said "groups, pets, oversized baggage", and she promptly left trying to find someone else to check me in. Her trip must have been unsuccessful because she returned again, slower than ever and started asking me questions as if she could get rid of me because I didn't have the right paperwork. But her dastardly plan was foiled by my careful preparation and attention to detail. Finally after an hour an a half we were all checked in, and I retrieved my baby from the tired arms of her Aunt Joy who had been walking and singing both the dog and baby while we waited for Ms. Molasses to get everything in order.
Next Hurdle, Airport Security... I really must know who finds the surliest people on earth to represent American law enforcement in our Airports? At this point, I'm starting to run late and Zora is crying because she's hungry, I've got the stroller, way too much baggage (traveling on a plane with a baby, what do I need? I don't know so I'm going to take everything!), the infant seat base, and of course the baby. I get to the xray machines and they ask me if I have any formula, I tell them I don't, but the man seems to think that I'm lying because he asks me to take any food that I have for the baby out of the bag, and when I don't, he says they are probably going to have to search my bags anyway... I'm sorry, he growls at me, that they will probably have to search my bags anyway. Then he tells me that I'm going to have to collapse the stroller and put it through the xray machine. Ok, this doesn't sound difficult right? Not too unreasonable? Right, ok, now remember that I am standing in those stupid narrow aisles I'm barefoot, I'm jiggling a screaming child in my arms, her head flopping about while I'm staring at the infant seat/stroller travel combination that now seems like a horrible idea. My mind is racing, ok, the stroller needs two hands to collapse, I need a hand and a half to hold the baby, Crap, the infant seat is already through the xray machine! Finally the security guy, seeing my dumb look of disbelief asks one of the other security guys to give me a hand and we finally make it through security.
After that it was pretty smooth sailing, everything took so long, that I was able to walk through the airport and right onto the plane. There was a period of time when we first got on the plane that I was sure we were doomed. As soon as we sat down Zora started shrieking her head off. We hadn't even taken off yet, and already she was crying like I was murdering her. I rocked, soothed, calmed, and finally I pulled out here favorite green blanket. But it took a good fifteen minutes or so for her to calm down, and I didn't think she was going to, I almost cried too. Luckily though, the favorite green blanket and some soothing songs calmed her down and she slept most of the way.
So we finally arrived in Baku and all seems to be well. I think Zora, Honey, and I are all finally over our jet lag. Although it took awhile for the baby, she was staying awake for almost 24 hours, and then sleeping for almost 24 hours, but we are back on track! Hopefully next week we'll get started doing things and I'll have more adventures for everyone.

No baby yet

So there's still no baby, and we are swiftly approaching the due date. The doctors don't seem really confident that there will be a baby on the due date, and I'm not seeing any of the changes that the books say could happen before going into labor. OF COURSE, everyone ALSO says that any of that could change at ANY time, and in fact I could go into labor right now and all of this would be moot. Yesterday I went into the doctor to see if I couldn't get any more information on this whole induction thing (which the doctors recommend that you set up ahead of time so that you don't have to wait... apparently they can either only do so many, or this is a very popular service) and, in her medical opinion it seemed worse to wait it out, than to induce. My big concern is the size of my baby, babies seem to run large on my mom's side of the family (8,9,10lbs) and I didn't want to wait to induce and then have a gigantic walking/talking child trying to pop out of my womb, so I asked the doctor if she could give me some kind of estimate. I was thinking that she would probably have to reschedule me to do an ultrasound or maybe pull out a ruler and do some math, or something. But no, the *apparently* scientific method of estimating baby size is to put one hand near my pelvic bone (where the baby's head is) and one hand at the top of my belly (where the baby's butt is), give a little shake, and compare what they feel to a 5lb bag of sugar. According to the doctor, it is not as small as a 5lb bag of sugar, but it also does not feel like two 5lb bags of sugar! She guesstimated about 7 or 8lbs. So we have scheduled the induction for Monday the 26th and if nothing pops out by Sunday the 25th I will be going into the hospital for some ripening drugs and the preparation for delivering the baby. If all the other “mommies” that I know were not so dead set against the whole induction process I think I’d prefer it this way, it takes the guess work out of am I in labor? Which as far as I can tell, I have not even begun…. In theory it will be a big difference from the non-painful contractions that I have but, who know. I don’t want to do the whole go to the hospital only to get sent home again thing.
Anyway, it’s just a waiting game at this point, and baby, just so you know, I’m real good at this game. :0

baby madness

So I'm back in the states again. It's a little bit of a mixed blessing. On the one hand, I'm glad to be here in terms of my health and the health of the baby. If something happens I'll be in a much better position to deal with it here, than in Baku. But I'm a little sad because this means that we have reached the beginning of the end of my childless life.
It's a little crazy to go shopping for baby things in the states. There is so much choice, and so much guilt attached to almost all of it. I'm a little glad that we are not living in the states at this time because I've only been exposed to a little of the "WHAT?!?!? You are not getting your child a disposable wipe warmer? Are you crazy? You are going to RUIN YOUR CHILD!" I can't believe how much guilt is applied to almost everything baby, and how much of it will either "RUIN YOUR CHILD" or "BE THE BEST FOR YOUR CHILD" I am trying to go for a bare bones nursery, and I'm shopping with my mother who wants to create a full nursery for a child who will only be visiting at their house for 4-6 weeks at best. I know that we only want what's best for our children, but does one child really need so much crap? In essence what the child really needs is food, diapers and clothes, a place to sleep and lots of love. Does a child really need all that much more? In fact, if the child is well loved and fed, doesn't that already put him/her well in front of a lot of the world's children?

Really bad and Really good

Ah, internet quizzes! Such fun!

Your results:
You are Apocalypse

Apocalypse 78% Magneto 75% Dark Phoenix 68% Mystique 66% Dr. Doom 65% Riddler 63% Two-Face 62% Poison Ivy 60% The Joker 58% Catwoman 56% Lex Luthor 55% Venom 53% Juggernaut 50% Mr. Freeze 39% Green Goblin 22% Kingpin 18%

You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test


Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 100% Wonder Woman 100% Spider-Man 80% Supergirl 80% Green Lantern 70% Hulk 70% Robin 60% The Flash 40% Batman 40% Catwoman 20% Iron Man 20%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

gas prices!

Last night, on our way home from dinner, there was an incredible traffic jam on our street leading up to the gas station. We were flabberghasted! What on earth could be going on? We racked our brains for possible scenarios, an imminent attack by Iran, a coming storm, some sort of pandemic? Worriedly we put our local guards to question and they informed us that gas prices were going to double overnight, going from .40 manat per litre (about $1.50 per gallon) to .75 manat per litre (almost $3.00 per gallon)! What a leap, and over night too! The guards said that people were filling up all their cars, all the gas cans, bathtubs, and whatever else they could fill as well. I'm a little concerned with what this will do to the local economy. People are already just scraping by. I can't imagine what doubling transportation costs will do to their lifestyles. For instance, right now, Taxis are at a flat rate of 2 manat per ride, that will probably have to double, which will mean that fewer people will be able to ride taxis, and the prices will have to increase, or taxis will have to drop out of the business. Either that or they are going to try a lot harder to gouge foreigners at every turn. I know it shouldn't bother me, what's five dollars to me? Right? But it really does. I don't know why, but it does. Something about principle.
I'm glad I'll be gone in a week while the gas increase settles itself out. I'd hate to have to argue with every cab driver, and every vegetable stand owner about the prices of goods and services. Everything here is done by car so increasing the gas costs is going to increase the cost of just about everything. And for awhile while it sorts itself out, it's probably going to be a little crazy and frustrating.

Year in Review!

So we have successfully reached the end of another year. It seems like so long ago since the end of last year, and yet, the time also seemed to fly by. This year I have lived in three different countries, China, the US and Azerbaijan. Each country very different from the others. We have been caught in the middle of diplomatic wrangling and thus had to be reassigned at the last minute... twice. In the end, I'm glad we ended up in Baku, the post seems friendly, the people are also very friendly, and it is a very unique change of pace from China. I think Manilla might have been nice, but I don't think our experience would have been significantly different from our experience in China.
We celebrated our fourth year of marriage this year, and I look forward to many more years. I can honestly say that marriage is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I'm not saying it's not tough, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
I lived at home for four months.... enough said.
My brother went to war....
My sister decided she was going to be a doctor...
I went to Turkey for Thanksgiving....
We also expanded our family this year. I now have a sweet loveable Honey sitting at my feet keeping me company during the day. After all my years of hoping and wishing, I finally have a dog, and although I sometimes get really annoyed (like after she peed on the carpet for no reason at all) I really do enjoy having her with me. I don't know what I would do without her.
Speaking of expanding families 2006 was also a staging year. My brother got engaged to a very nice young woman, and we are all looking forward to their wedding next year. I got knocked up and EVERYONE is looking forward to the arrival of our first child (my parents are beside themselves with glee).
All in all 2006 has been a good year, and I can't wait to see what's in store for 2007!

The Nutcracker

Finally! After 3 days being cooped up in the house, not being able to go anywhere we finally got out! Or rather I finally got out. My hubby had to go out despite the unsafe conditions to attend to some urgent work business, while I was still sequestered at home. Snow and ice are not friends of Baku or pregnant women.
So for our journey out, we attended the Baku performance of the Nutcracker. Now, I freely admit, I don't know very much at all about ballet. I appreciate the art, it's a beautiful thing, I just don't know enough to appreciate fine ballet, from average ballet. However, tonight's performance was not very nice at all, except that I got out of the house. At first, I thought I was just being nitpicky. I have a pet peeve against professional artists who can't get their stuff together to dance in sync. I mean if a high school band can all march in step to music they play themselves, artist, who get paid to dance together, should be able to dance together in sync. But as the performance went on I noticed that the choreography was not that sophisticated, and anything that was difficult was sloppily done. And it's bad if I noticed that it was sloppy. All the male dancers would stumble after executing any kind of jumping spin and the big move for couples dancing together was for the man to hold the woman up while she performed waist high split kicks.
But even though I'm complaining, I was happy to get out, and it was nice to see a ballet again. And I have to say the man who played Santa Clause had a very nice muscular butt, and his blue tights emphasized his cheeks nicely. he he

Snow day!

Today is a Baku snow day! It started snowing yesterday, it snowed all night, and still really hasn't stopped snowing. The thing of it is, that there really isn't that much snow on the ground. It's almost like Texas where people freak out if they see a snow flake. It's actually been pretty amusing to sit at the window and watch the craziness as people slide down the hill on our street. Even as I sit here typing I can here the spinning of wheels and gunning of engines as drivers try in vain to coax their cars up the little hill. I think a big part of the problem is that no one has plowed the street. So the snow has compacted into ice, and with people's bald tires, and old crappy cars the hill is proving to be too much of a challenge. And as usual, with traffic in Baku, there is the yelling and the horn honking accompanying the sliding cars. I don't really know what they expect to accomplish, if your car is sliding backwards, obviously there is really nothing you can do to improve the situation, other than get out and push. But who knows? Maybe the honking will somehow magically give the car traction and the driver will then be able to progress up the hill.

Fire Temple

Last week I went to the Baku Fire Temple with some friends. Supposedly ancient Bakuvians built a temple on this site because of the fire that naturally sprouted from the ground. People came from as far away as India to worship at the alter of the firegods.

December blues

WHEW! November just seemed to drag/fly by. I started taking Russian language classes, 5 days a week thank you very much, started to get out a little more. I went to several International Women's Club events, and a couple BP social club things, I even started doing some baby group events, our final shipment of crap finally arrived, and we went to Turkey for Thanksgiving. In between all that the baby got bigger and it's finally no longer possible for people not to know I'm pregnant. It's really quite obvious. I wish you could backdate posts on blogger, I'd like to cheat and write a few posts as if I was in Turkey, but I haven't figured out how to do that yet. But I will update in the next day or so and write out a post on Turkey. It was loads of fun, and we took a lot of great pictures.
I'm looking forward to all the adventures to have in December!

20 WEEKS! HALFWAY DONE!!!!!

I have finally reached the pregnancy midpoint! YEAH! Hopefully the second half of this pregnancy will be easier than the first. I'm tired of being sick, and I want to move on to the I'm happy and feeling fine phase. I'm still itty bitty and people are still shocked when I tell them that I am almost 5 months pregnant. I think if I was to keep pretending that I wasn't pregnant people might just think I'd gotten a little fat. Weirdly enough, despite the fact that I'm gaining belly a little everyday my body image is better than it's been in a long time. I think it's because I'm loosing weight everywhere else except my stomach (and well my chest, they're HUGE!). That and maybe all the attention of the crazy women loving Azeri men. Or maybe I'm just happy that I don't already look like I'm nine months pregnant. Even if I were to suddenly blow up tomorrow and gain ten pounds in the next week and everyweek thereafter I'd still be happy because I made it this far so small.

Rain Rain Go Away...

So the last week, I'm sitting at the kitchen table finishing up my first breakfast of the day, getting ready to put on my shoes and take the dog out for her morning constitutional when I see these huge splats begin to hit the window. Uh oh.... In about 30 more seconds the splats turn into a deluge and it's raining harder than I've seen it rain anywhere in a long time. I apologize to the dog, but tell her I'm not going out in this, and neither is she, and put her back in her crate. I thought it would rain hard and then lighten up a bit, but no. It rained hard for an hour or so. The street flooded, our lobby flooded, it was crazy. As I watched the street turned into a little river, and cars were driving by in water up to the middle of their wheels. But then it was weird, it finally stopped raining, and out came the sun and it was a gorgeous day. Except for the small creeks, and rivers everywhere you'd never know that it had been raining. Crazy!

uh... Honey we're not going out right now

the street in front of our apartment

driving in the river

more water

the pool inside our lobby

Flirting with kids

I was out walking with Honey today, when I was ambushed by a group of highschool boys who started off slyly asking about Honey. Started off innocently enough, although I should have known better most people here are terrified of dogs. They petted her, once I assured them she wouldn't bite, talked about how good she was, and even asked how old she was (although in retrospect they might have been asking my age). I talked politely with them, answering what I could with my limited knowledge of Russian, and their limited usable English, and then continued on with Honey to finish her potty break, which is why we were out there to begin with. As Honey finished up, two of them circled in again to make their move.... Apparently there needed to be courage worked up or something. The two of them approached as I was trying to get Honey to poop and started to compliment me. I didn't understand at first, but soon caught on, and tried to figure out a way to turn down these young'uns without being too mean, and in a way that they would definitely understand me. I tried to tell them in English that they were too young, they didn't get it, so then I moved on to hinting around the topic by asking them how old they were, and then implying that I was old... which when you're talking to 18 year olds a 30 year old is OLD. I was pleased though.... it's not everyday you get hit on by 18 year olds, while you are carrying your husband's child no less. Score one for the pregnant girls!

Mommy's first maternity outfit

So I thought we were going out Saturday so I got all dressed up and I thought I would celebrate by putting on a maternity outfit for once. I didn't think I actually needed one, so far I have been getting by with slightly baggier shirts and loose fitting pants, but when I put on the outfit I was surprised to see that I actually DO look pregnant. I suppose it's about time, I am nearly halfway through. But still, it's shocking to suddenly look in the mirror and see a pregnant woman. Anyway, I just thought I'd share the new look.

Sheep!

I was in the park with Honey this morning doing a little long neglected brushing when I noticed that there was an awful lot of commotion going on at the local school. I ignored it thinking that it was just regular noise, but then I noticed that the loud boys were herding two sheep into the schoolyard. Honey and I went closer to investigate, but could learn nothing, except that the I think kids were being let out of school early. Mothers and littler kids were fleeing the schoolgrounds in force, while the older kids were gathering in groups to gossip and exchange plans for the upcoming holiday (I assume. The govt. declared Mon & Tues to be national holidays in respect of Ramadan). Some kids and parents were milling about in the schoolyard. The kids running wild, as kids will do, and the parents watching with one eye and talking to teachers and other parents out of the other. The two sheep were alternately ignored and chased around by groups of boys, while the sheep handler tried in vain to keep the sheep contained and keep the boys away from them.
My best guest is that these sheep will be sacrificed. From what I have gathered from Wikipedia, at the end of Ramadan there is a feast of Eid and it is possibly a tradition to sacrifice a sheep in a symbolic nod to Abraham's gift of sheep from God when he was supposed to sacrifice his son. I also think, and I don't know where I'm getting this from that part of the sheep is eaten by the family, while the rest is given to the poor. I was curious to see if this is what was going on so I waited around for a good half an hour to see what they were up to, but nothing was happening so I went back home. Some pics...


mad handler trying to calm sheep

cornered!

run sheep run

schoolyard

sheep

kids in school yard

sheep

Life....

We are overseas, and no surprise, one of the first things we did was hire a maid. It is actually beneficial to our marriage that we have a maid, because I don't like to clean... at all, and neither does Vlad, but both of us hate messy dusty apartments. In the states, we couldn't afford to have someone come clean once a week, so we had to do it ourselves. Which is fine, everyone does it, but in the spirit of women's lib and all, I will not be the only one to clean anything. I hate it! And in the spirit of men's lib and fairness neither will Vlad. So it's generally a constant battle between what we would like to see done, what we are willing to do, and what we can negotiate the other person into doing. BUT! Overseas we can afford to have someone come in twice a week and make our apartment sparkle. No more whose going to clean the toilet fights. No more I'm not mopping the floor this week fights. None of that. Just come home, house is clean. Beautiful.
But now I have guilt. In China, there was no guilt. Our maid was from a village somewhere and what we were paying her was far and above better, and the work was safer, than anything she could have gotten on the local economy. We were paying her something crazily small like a dollar and a half an hour, but if she was working in the city as a laborer in some factory she'd be making less and have the added benefit of risking her life every day when she went to work (take for instance the guys who washed the apartment windows. They went to work suspended from the top of a tall building on a length of rope no bigger than my arm. No saftey harness, no platform, just the rope. I guarantee that our maid was making WAY more than those guys).
But Baku. With communism just ending and the private sector taking some time to work out the corruption, well it's just sad. True, no one is starving. In general I don't feel bad about the population. Everyone looks healthy, suitably dressed, and housed. In China this was often not the case. Almost everyday I saw people, even kids, where I thought to myself there's no way that guy's eaten today, and he HAS a job. So I don't feel overly privileged just because I eat everyday. However, I was talking to our maid today, and I was asking how she learned English. Well, she taught herself while she was in school. And she was in school a long time because she's an economist. She used to work as a manager (I'm not sure if I understood her right) or maybe the head of a department in a company, until she got laid off due to the corruption (maybe she didn't take bribes, or didn't take bribes from the right people I don't know). Before that she worked for an insurance company, and before that she was a government official in a communist organization. HOW CRAZY IS THAT??? She says that she doesn't have any bitterness about this work, but still I feel bad. Would I be able to go from running a section having important things to do, to sweeping someone's floor? And do it cheerfully to? I don't know. I'm barely handling going from the THOUGHT of a legal career to housewife. I don't know if I had actually done stuff. Which is once again why I'm grateful that God has allowed me to be where I am and who I am. I could have easily been born in America with no prospects, or in China with even less prospects.....

In Country at Last

We've finally made it to Azerbaijan. Not until the very end of our journey did I actually think we would make it here. I thought, surely, they are going to call us up and say, "I'm sorry, did you think you were going to Azerbaijan, well in reality, Vlad is going to Iraq and you are going to stay in the states for a year." Which would have been fine... um not really, except that it interferes with the other news that's going on with us.... We're going to have a baby. I know, I know, I talked a lot of talk about not being mommy material, and children being difficult and sticky. And well, I still think that, but hopefully our infant will change my mind. Vlad is tickled pink and can hardly contain himself with excitement. I can hardly contain myself too, but it's not excitement that threatens to leak out.... I don't know why, but my morning sickness still continues to linger on. It's not the overwhelming all encompassing nausea that it was, but now a more subtle, have to eat or else I get headachy and subject to bouts of vomiting kind of thing.
I am pleased though, because I did not explode right away into a three hundred pound pregnant woman. I'm still manageably small, and if I dress appropriately I can hide the fact that I'm pregnant, even at 19 weeks. I might still explode, but I was not huge at 10 weeks. So maybe I'll have a reasonable sized baby afterall.
Anyway, I am in the process of collecting pictures of Baku to share, and I've got some anecdotes and whatever. I'll try to blog better in the future.

Wow 1 month and no change yet

So we are in mid July, getting closer to our Sept. departure date and still no change in assignments. YEAH! If things continue to go well I might start looking up things on Azerbaijan next month. It could be very exciting. But I'm not going to get my hopes up. I'm still just trying to enjoy staying with my parents. I think it's an unexpected gift. How often as adults do we get to reenter the protective cocoon of our parent's homes? I'm learning so much about them.

Manila!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Well, it has happened. We have been assigned to Manila. I'm not sure whether or not to be happy. I still don't believe it. We're going to Tashkent! We're going to Tashkent. We're going to Tashkent? We're going to...? We're going to Manila? When did that happen?

I, standing straight and tall!

There is still no word. And there probably will not be any word until after the weekend. I'm tired of waiting, not knowing, not doing. I know I should look up Manilla and start to get an idea of what it might be like to live there, but I really can't. I don't want to get excited about yet another post, only to find out that it won't be happening either. I've also sort of stopped writing emails because I keep saying the same thing over and over again, and although the people I'm writing to don't know it, I feel like I've started to repeat myself. They, of course, are hearing it for the first time, but I am repeating it again and again. It's hard to still sound upbeat about a situation after the 4th time you've written about it. I'm trying to make the most of my holding pattern, but it's just so hard.

Should I stay or should I go?

So we are trying to decide the least disturbing of three, well two options. AND it's not even clear that we will be able to choose all of them. We have been offered Dushanbe, which is a small little place even further from the middle of nowhere than Tashkent, Manilla, which could be fine, but probably similar in many ways to Beijing, and then to stay in DC which would be great, except we really aren't ready to do a year in DC. My resume's in shambles, our wardrobe is scattered across the globe, and we're carrying too much weight. Realisticly we will probably end up in Manilla simply because it is the least evil of all the choices. And we can definitely go there. The other places are all sketchy. And as with all state department stuff who knows what rules you can follow and which ones you can't.
Oh, funny side note. It turns out that HR will be upgrading it's systems during the month of July so no new transfer orders will be processed during that time. When I heard this, I thought it was just too funny. After all, June, July and August are only the BIGGEST transfer months of the entire state department. So let's shut down our systems for an upgrade during that time. Not in February or October when people are rarely moving, but in July when hundreds of people all over the world are moving hither and yon. It makes me wonder. If the US is some of the best, what do other people have to put up with?

...And still floating

Almost two weeks of waiting now, and still no word. We are now free agents and do not have to go to Uzbekistan, but the alternatives are worse. All of the choices we were given were the ones we looked at and decided against before we chose Uzbekistan. It's a little frustrating, but I have come to terms with my current fate. Either way it goes, I'm ready to leave, the only thing I will need to take care of is to pack my bags, and get Honey's health certificates. It's nice to be this portable. I'm currently reading a Dean Koontz book, it's not too bad, but it feels a little like those Steven King books from the middle of his career where it's a big book, but nothing really happens. It's a good thing that I also read for the lyricism of the language, so a poorly plotted book will still be a worth while read if I can enjoy the imagery... Maybe I should have been an English major. But then, I hate these books as well, because the characters are good, the mental pictures are there, but where's the story, I end up at the end of the book thinking, but why? I think that's what I'm most afraid of in terms of writing my own books, I'm afraid that I'll get to the end of the long book writing process and my reader will think, but why? Why indeed.

Still waiting

Sometimes the waiting is unbearable. I keep looking toward the future, but then I stop, realizing that it is a large blank void, completely unwritten. It's hard to plan, when you don't even know what city you are going to be in. It's kinda like graduating from school, except that instead of knowing what city you want to go to and not having a job, you've (well, my husband) got a job, but no city.... But even then I guess we don't know what kind of job it's going to be either. I guess what it boils down to is we don't know.

Friends and babies

A couple of days ago, I called a friend of mine from high school who has a pretty new baby. And I've gotta say it's an odd experience to think back on our previous adventures and connect them to this woman who was talking to me about rashes, mortgage vs. rent, and maternity leave. I hear her voice and I think about our conversations about first love, first times, parties, or just random craziness and then in the background I hear a fussy baby. It's weird I tell you. And I never know with mothers. Sometimes I'm reluctant to call because the baby could be sleeping, or they could be busy doing something with the baby, but after talking to her I realize that I should just call. I also forget that moms are intellectual people as well and sometimes they need a break from the cooing, pooping, and cleaning. It's just hard for me since I'm not a conversationalist (I actually really suck at it) and I feel bad talking about what's going on with me because it's so mind numbingly boring to me. I feel like the person on the other end of the phone must be ready to poke their eyes out with pencils from boredom.

Floating

Dang! Last night's post didn't make it on the appropriate day! Oh well. Anyway, we are still waiting for some word, any word, on what might happen to us. At this point I don't really care. We've packed, we've shopped, we've prepared and planned, really all we have to do at this point is pack our suitcases, get a health certificate for our pooch and be pointed in the direction of our new country. It seems like such a waste though, a year of getting ready to go to this place, and then, oh yeah, you were supposed to go to Tashkent, yeah, see what had happened was.... and now we are definitely, probably, not going, maybe. Gotta love the govt.

Nostalgia

I've been feeling awfully nostalgic lately. I don't know what it is, maybe it's the realization that I'm 30, or maybe it's just I've been at home for a long time, and I'm seeing people I don't normally see so I'm remembered of times 10-20 years ago when I was just a wee lass. It's crazy to think that all those periods of my life are in the past now. Not that I'm complaining. I would not go back to being a teenager ever again. I might live in my 20's for awhile, but even then, you'd have to pick and chose carefully. I can't imagine life staying stagnant though. I claim not to like change, but in reality I really do like it. Why else would I have encouraged my future hubby to take the foreign service exam? Why else would I move to New York and long to return there? I don't want to just stay at home and live in my routine, I want to break free, see and do. I just can't figure out what I'm meant to do....

Family

While we are waiting.... This past weekend was the 31st annual Vernon family reunion. It is great to see everyone and watch and listen as the family shares their experiences, talents, and love with each other. Whenever I go to these events I always feel bad that I don't know more of the family. But when I was growing up we always lived to far to go, and now that I'm grown, I'm out of the country too often to attend. But one thing that my parents always stressed was the importance of family. I will definately try, if I have kids of my own, to bring them out to the family reunions so they can see where they came from, because it's hard to know where you're going if you don't know where you've been.

waiting

We have finally reached the day before our departure to Uzbekistan, and well, we are still waiting. Our visas (entry permits) still have not come through. SO after almost a year of preparation it looks like we are not going tomorrow after all. It's a little anticlimatic after all we've been planning to go planning to go, and it was always a little ways away, just a little more time, a little more planning. Now we're done planning, we've got all our stuff, but we still aren't going. And it's entirely possible that we will not be going at all. We have even started thinking about alternatives to our friendly post of Uzbekistan. Jamaica anyone?

Power outage

Last night there was a big storm here at my parent's house. My dad and I were playing Halo when the power went out. Surprisingly, the actual storm only lasted maybe a half an hour, maybe an hour. But it was quite a display for that time, there were winds, and buckets of rain, and lots of thunder and lightning. After being in California, then in China for so long I had almost forgotten what a summer thunderstorm really looks like. The lights were out for three or four hours. My parents and I played scrabble--good old fashioned fun, with our vintage 1970's board, my dad won, of course. Then I took Honey for a walk. It was a little creepy walking through the powerless neighborhood right before dark. Some neighbors were out in their front yard talking to each other. Some people had windows open. I ran into a couple of dogs who were very interested in Honey, but she had no chance to socialize because their owners called them away. As I walked through the neighborhood, there was something amiss, but I couldn't put my finger on it, then I realized, there were no lights. Of course I knew that there wouldn't be lights, but I didn't really know it until I saw it. There was also very little sound. Despite what everyone says about the suburbs, you know quiet, sleepy, etc. There is actually a hum to a suburban neighborhood. Little background noises that seep out of houses to fill the nights with noise. TV, radio, lights, kitchen appliances, etc. All that makes noise. To have it cut out, well, it was quiet. Which got me thinking. What all are we missing, with our TV's, iPods, Play Stations, etc that people a century ago took for granted. I'm sure it wasn't silent, nature is not silent, stupid birds and crickets add plenty of background noise. But what about other human interaction. Last night was the first time I'd played scrabble in years. When I was a kid my mom used to have TV blackout days. At the time I hated them, no TV for a week! She was killing us. But now perhaps I understand the wisdom in her method. We could all probably use a few Power out days!

more than 30

  

Count down to thirty (10days left)

Wow! Today is April 5, only 10 days away from my 30th Birthday. I am excited about it. 30 is a big milestone. It's weird though, I finally understand what everyone talks about when they say they don't feel old. I don't. I don't feel 30. But then, what does 30 feel like? I'm kinda sad that I never set any goals that I should reach before I hit 30. But I guess that's good because now I don't have to rush about and try to cross off some stupid goal that I set when I was 20 that doesn't really apply to my life now. At 20 I never would have set the goal to learn Chinese, and live and work in China for two years. Nor would I have thought to want to live in Uzbekistan, learn Russian, possibly Uzbek, and make a plan to write a novel. I have done so much, a lot of it off the general outline of what I had wanted to do (ok, maybe I would have wanted to learn Chinese and Russian, they were on my list of lifetime languages to learn) but still so interesting, and fulfilling, that I'm not really missing out.... Ok, I am missing my own career, but I plan to fix that very soon.... I have seen so much, and done so much that I really can't complain... Ok, I can, but I really shouldn't. It's weird though, last night when I thought about it, I think I have been floating by to much in life. I have allowed a lot of my life to happen to me instead of making life happen for me. I still feel like I'm waiting for my chance, when I am letting my chance slip by. If I don't reach out for life, it will just slip through my fingers while I'm not looking. Does anyone ever really plan to one day wake up old?